Pizza, Pop & Parents - TONIGHT!!

The PP&P parties were always great, as were hotel sleepover parties, bumper bowling and plaster playhouse (for those of you not from the D- painting useless plaster unicorns and enormous baseballs and after they dried, bedazzling the shit out of them), but now that we're no longer in the U13 crowd parties become more of an art--where can we have one? should there be a theme? is there going to be enough alcohol? do we have room for all of these people?

enter....THE QUADRA-BASH: Friday, June 16th - 8pm-12am (but stay as long as you want) @ CITIZEN, the new bar that everyone has already repeated a few times, so we're having a party there before the new car smell dies down.

Come early, at least come before 12 if you feel like ripping off the bar by getting a 3-hour $35 drink package. Join us on the rooftop, I know I'll be there early to insure maximum cumpleanos felicidades (excuse my poor spanish, I only took 3 years).

Oh, in case you forgot: Lafer on keyboards, Sub-rocka and Blitzer on vocals (Blitz mainly back-up vocals, specializing in the "oh, ohs"), and Lissy on the gui-tar! Come to CITIZEN, rock out!

that's it, my ears are broken!

Connie Chung serenades, we all suffer

oh sweet jesus, who the hell let connie chung sing? i'm guessing maury let's her do whatever the hell she wants ever since it leaked that he cheated on her.

but really connie, punish everyone else? it's just not fair.

*notice the piano player sits there playing "fake" piano...that's genius.

and the Spears trashy quote of the day is. . .

Britney Spears to Matt Lauer on Dateline NBC :

"I'm thinking about waiting like a year or two to come out with music again. We'll see. I just feel like I want my 'booboos' to be a little bit older."

Oh my god girl, HELP YO' SELF!!! Please!!! I bet K Fed has been schooling her in the art of white-bonics...or wig-bonics, whatever you want to call that damn dialect.

from urbandictionary.com:

booboo: The act of dropping a load.

"Man, I have to booboo!"

Yeah, pretty much sums up the Spederline.

"Lindsay Lohan is a...."

LUCKY BITCH! KARMA is an interesting animal, don't you think?

According to In Touch Weekly, Brandon Davis checked into rehab yesterday to try and help his sweaty, lude commenting ass. Call it a rehab for loose lippers, sweaty socialites, oily LA'ers.

Well actually he did check himself into rehab and I'm sure Lohan is just laughing her ass off about this one. Major major payback Lohan, karma loves you, you little bitch!

"Yes, I am checking into rehab today," Davis told In Touch on the evening of June 15. "I am on my way right now."

I'm really sure he was taking calls from In Touch en route to rehab.

"Brandon must have watched that footage a thousand times," a friend says. "He can't believe those words came out of his mouth and realized it was the drugs talking."

No!!!!! REALLY?? Are you sure he wasn't just sweating because it was hot out? I can't believe someone who doesn't work, has never worked, party hops, blows money and hangs with Paris Hilton would do drugs?

He will be checking into Passages in Malibu, a $75,000/month rehab center.

Good luck to him. And just in case you're keeping score:

Lohan- 2
Brandon - 1

Laugh it up Lohan....

Fake pregnancies (or cover ups) are soooo in

Not really breaking news but just some interesting CRAP from JOSSIP.com and from one of those anonymous gossip emails that I got claiming, that someone's brother's friend's girlfriend's uncle that works in NY at a talent agency got the scoop, because they in fact saw this supposed "contract" between Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. I have some conspiracy theories of my own actually...and hypothesize that it is one of two things:

1) Cruise is gay; Katie Holmes is bringing him some press (well their relationship and baby (real or fake)) and she is in "love" with him due to the contract she signed. Had a baby with him to get 5 million, (we all know she is a horrible actress and is a complete bore)

2) Cruise is still gay; Katie Holmes was previously pregnant with Chris Klein's baby, Tom was no having this since it disrupted his plans (and the contract) and Katie had the baby earlier than a Suri could have come out (maybe at the 6 month mark) and that's why her stomach looked like a fricken beach ball, she had to cover up the fact that she had a baby and it wasn't Cruise's, it was CHRIS KLEIN'S BABY!

**Very interesting that we have yet to see this "baby"....

Here is the contract gossip from Jossip:
Tom Cruise's contract with Katie Holmes promises the young starlet five million dollars if she keeps up the routine for five years. Lucky for her, there's a clause to guarantee no unnecessary sex.













is that you Suri?

"I told you I was a good dancer Ho-Han!"

Paris & Lohan, having a dance off at Stereo in NY this week, might be the most useless and funniest celeb gossip I have heard this week. So this is what I picture it looking like:

Lohan walks in, coked up as all hell, probably just gave Stavs a BJ'er in bathroom and sees Paris already stripping and giving lap dances to those in the VIP section. At this point Lohan is pissed, once again Paris shows up at the same place Lohan is! But Lohan figures, I'll just dance a few inches away from her with Stavs, then she'll get pissed. Instead...a DANCE-OFF insues. Of course I picture Lohan (in the dancing style of "Confessions as a Teenage Drama Queen")

and Paris (as her usual rhythm challenged self) duking it out while coked out and boobs & cooches flying out grooving it to "Hungry like the Wolf" and "Like a Virgin."

According to PEOPLE, "The rift started Monday at New York City club Butter, when Hilton confronted Lohan about dating her ex, Stavros Niarchos. Then, in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, the ladies had a different kind of battle at the Big Apple hot spot, Stereo – a dance-off. It began after the hotel heiress arrived at the club where Lohan was helping a pal deejay an '80s music set. Eventually, Lohan and Hilton ended up in the VIP section where both stars danced for hours. "Neither wanted to leave and it kept going," a source tells us. "No one was going to leave before the other."

For the full ridiculous story go to: http://people.aol.com/people/articles/0,19736,1204355,00.html

we're NOTHING like that NO-TALENT ASS CLOWN!

Picks to click for the Michael Bolton Blasters - June 13, 2006

Fielding (guys): Willie Hays Mayz Schwartz- After being suspended last
week for his brawl with Coopersmith in the loop on a "friendly" lunch
date, Coopersmith has been running his mouth about Brian's fielding
skills calling him a "one game wonder". This has fristrated Brian hence
making him feel obliged to "patrol" the outfield.

Fielding (girls): G-Unit- Enough said, Alli wants a no hitter and will
go to any extreme to accomplish this.

Batting (guys): Liggity Sniggity Laker- "2 dongs last week was an
underperformance" Jeff remarked. "I'll hit 3 this week".

Batting (Girls): Marty- Is this girl ever going to NOT get on base??
After claiming 3 of the last 4 batter of the game honors, Marisa is the
clear cut choice to come out with a huge game this week, possibly
batting for the "cylce"???

See you all at 7:30- I really hope we win by the slaugter rule as this
team really annoys me. I am in for a bench clearing brawl and might try
to bean "Teddy".
_______________________________

After a great win last night, 11-1 over the Huevos (damn eggs), the umps (from Separation Anxiety, the team who has theme songs played everytime they go up to kick) called us "Obnoxious" and were overheard saying "Geez, did they have to nail that girl at first, they're winning 11-1!" Yes in Michael Bolton's name, we had to. We needed to prove to the Huevos that if you lie to PAFFLEHOUSE, you're messing with the wrong crappy adult contemporary serenader!

"Lots of power at the plate, a vicious throw at an innocent Huevos base-runner and now an ill-tempered e-mail...I think Blitz is on the
Juice.(Wouldn't be surprised if we saw members of the House Committee on Governmental Reform at the next game...)"
-Barry Schneiderman

__________________________________________________________________
alli233: it's ok i'm just sad that i have to miss the biggest game of the year...and i was a pick to click
risababe is back: will you be watching us via-video conference call?
alli233: i wish there was a cybercast!

the "GOODS" Goodman was there in spirit...
_____________________________________________________ _____________

And here we are, the day after our 6 win in a row. That's right, Bolton would be peeing his pants right now (Docker's, you think?) Next week is playoffs and since we are either 2nd or 3rd place, our first round shouldn't be a match for the MBB's.

A recap of last night slaughter over the Huevos, OMLETES anyone?

Players of the game as follows:

Batting guys- Tappper- An unheralded effort at the plate yields Scott
yet another award with his 3rd dong of the season.

Batting-girls- Grubbs- A great baserunning play where she stays on the
bag helps us to keep the inning alive and lay it on Huevos even worse.

Fielding- guys- Schwartz- "Just awesome". The future hall of famer
comes through again with 3 running catches that definately saved a
number of runs. I do not think that we would win half of our games if B
Schwartz was not in the field heralding these catches.

Fielding-girls- Brocky- Again, comes thorugh in the clutch with some
great plays "on the bag".

see ya at playoffs,

TIME, LOVE & TENDERNESS!

Victoria's Secret, more like POODIE!

I got a text from US Weekly during lunchtime and I can't tell you how great their timing is. What were they thinking at US, "It's lunchtime, let's send that one about Brit in Vicky S's changing a diaper." Um, excuse me while I lose my lunch.

Us Weekly reports that on June 4, Britney Spears was spotted picking out pink thongs at a Victoria’s Secret in Mission Viejo when she decided to change Sean Preston’s diaper on the floor next to the cash register.
Says the source, “Britney then tried to hand it to an employee,” but the salesperson wouldn’t take it.

Speechless and sick.

What's up pussy cat? whoaa whoaa whoaa

Tom Jones would love this. Why isn't he the host for the Meow Mix Reality Show: Who Wants to be a Celeb Pussy ??http://meowmixhouse.com/index.asp

If you're into web cams (kinda kinky), you can watch the cats do NOTHING live.
http://meowmixhouse.com/webcamsite.html

Here is what I observed while watching for the longest 6 minutes of my life:
11:10am- Fat cat on leopard couch taking a nap, probably staying there for the remainder of the day; definitely the Kirstie Ally of the group
11:11am- Someone's fat ass in gray pants walking in front of the web cam, probably feeding the cats or "petting" them
11:11am- White scary looking cat emerges from the other room, follows a black cat and looks ready to rock. Heading to the hot tub maybe? This is definitely the Trishelle of the group, always looking for a romp.
11:13am- White cat prances by the leopard couch to check out the fat cat laying there lifeless (probably thinking about eating Weight Watchers Fettucini, but doesn't want the web cam to catch it), not amused at all, plus this cat does not have energy to give "Trishelle" the petting she needs or rubbing up against.
11:16am- A smart cat recognizes that this is a reality show and stares right into the web cam. Immediately after walks away, not wanting to be filmed; this is the Jessica Simpson of the group, she's not happy with her 50th hair-do of the week and is so sick of hearing "What's Left of Me" on the radio, dammit Nick!

I'm not sure why they are looking for a Meow Mix spokesperson and going such great lengths to show them on a web cam doing nothing. I already know the most ghetto cat ever, who would change the game for Meow Mix 4-eva!
http://www.myspace.com/natashameow

"what's up bitchesssssss?" Tash-Hova

i'm BURNING like a phoenix in my pants!

"I'm burning up, burning up for your love." -Madonna, c. 1988

Sorry everyone, I can't help but quote Madonna (going to the concert this Sunday since my amazing boyfriend got tickets for my birthday!) and be so so so excited about a little company I am so fortunate to be involved in called BurnLounge.

I just got back from Vegas and while I was there we launched 1.0, learned some exciting new installments, heard 10 bands play at the conference (many were exclusive bands to BL), heard Marc Gill of Warner Indie Films, George Daniels- a Chicago music legend, amongst many others tell us how BurnLounge is changing the game for digital music and distribution and no other company has a business model even close to what we have. If this interests you, read on. If not, just check out my site and check out these bands who I heard this weekend that I personally recommend:

Just Jinjer (from S. Africa) - their album is exclusively on BurnLounge and is featured on my BurnLounge site: www.chicagoburn.com

Lynden (rock band from Nashville) - their album is exclusively on BurnLounge as well (be sure to download: I'm on Fire - which is featured on the new BL commercial)

After this weekend we got some awesome press and here is one article from yahoo biz:
http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/060609/laf015.html?.v=53

If you're still reading...go to http://www/burnlounge.com or http://corp.burnlounge.com/ - learn about the company, search for retailers sites (Kanye West, Danica Patrick, Dale Earhardt Jr., Black Eyed Peas, Hootie and the Blowfish, Ted Nugent, Justin Timberlake all have sites--and many more)

I can't tell you how excited I am about this company, see ya later iTunes, we have so much mroe music than them, more artistic freedom, indie bands you won't find anywhere else...and obviously it's just cool.

WANT MORE? When you go to my site, there are links at the bottom with more info, one specifically that links to the new BL commercial, check it out...well worth it.

thanks for putting me on the mailing list Brit!

HOW IN THE F DID I GET ON THIS MAILING LIST? 50% OFF IS A RIP, THEY MIGHT AS WELL GIVE THEM AWAY TO THOSE IN NEED, or Brit will just buy them all for her and K-fed.

my random celeb run-down: trashtastic, d-list, oh behave!

von dutch & ciggies, weeeeeeeeee!



From NBC's Matt Lauer's interview with Trashtactic:
Despite the tabloids reports of trouble on the home front, Spears shares with Lauer that her marriage with Kevin Federline is "awesome!"

--Despite not eating much this morning, I seem to have just gotten sick in hearing that K-Fed and Trashtastic are in fact, NOT breaking up and that their marriage is "awesome." I'm so happy that Matt Lauer interviewed her and know the world knows what we have all known all along: she's pure trash, straight from the trailer, cheeto stains on the side of her mouth, empty starbucks frappuccino cups in her backseat, bra strap hanging out of her back-less shirt kind of girl.

Another genius quote from the Brit-ster herself about her infamous child securely on her lap while we was driving (not to mention she had another baby in the oven--so count that, 2 babies in danger in that situation):

"I can't go anywhere without someone judging me...I did it with my dad. I'd sit on his lap and I drive. We're country."

Ok people, I can't take it anymore.















On to the next weird celeb news I came across (on PerezHilton.com and BravoTV.com)

Kathy Griffin is trying really hard to get off of the D-List, considering she has a show on Bravo titled: My Life on the D-List. http://www.bravotv.com/Kathy_Griffin/

She really wants good press like Paris Hilton had when her famous hit "One Night in Paris" hit various sketchy video stores (like Frenchy's on State). Click the link above to see Kathy Griffen's sex-tape, I am assuming it's not that sexy and it's just a ploy to watch her new show (Bravo would not have a real sex tape on their site, or did they just put this up assuming people would run the other way?)












Ok, on to the next...Does Mike Myers make you "horny baby?" Well probably not. There has been some rumors going around that the Austin Powers, but in my mind his most notable characters were Wayne Campbell, Linda Richmanand the retarded boy on the playground...is G.A.Y. (Kind of like the Ashlee Simpson song, L.O.V.E.) I read about it a month or so ago, after hearing that him and his wife were getting a divorce and then a recent quote from an awards show might have just completely outted him:

"Men want to be him, women want him, and in my case I both want to be him and want him."

- at the ceremony for the American Film Institute's annual lifetime achievement award, presented to Sean Connery in Los Angeles on Thursday night.