Of course it's self-titled, bitch!

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1534810/20060621/hilton_paris.jhtml?headlines=true
haha...I just had to post this link to a story on MTV about Paris' new album...I'm sure some of you have seen her music video that leaked, Stars Are Blind, which is really just soft-core porn. But breaking news everyone...guess what the genuis Paris decided to title her debut album?

PARIS.

Me: "Wow...you're a genuis!"
Par: "Thanks bitch"

The HO of the week award goes to...

I bet you have 3 guesses (ok maybe just 1)

Par-Ho! the real OG Ho, the best role model for all aspiring hoes:

After being reported by some gossipers as "Paris' new mystery man" (seems like a story like this breaks a few times a week, and I'm getting exhasted trying to keep up)...the "mystery man" happens to be hockey player, Jose Theodore who in fact DOES have a girlfriend. DUH! Like Par-ho even gives a shit about that! She made him (ok, maybe he wanted to), escort her to an awards party this past weekend and were seen being being touchy-feely at the event.
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20060622/theordore_dumped_060622/20060622?hub=Entertainment

from CTV.ca
Former Montreal Canadien Jose Theodore has been dumped by his girlfriend after she found out about an apparent weekend tryst he had with hotel heiress and socialite Paris Hilton. TQS, a French-language television network, reported on Thursday that Stephanie Cloutier ended her relationship with Theodore and gave the Colorado Avalanche goaltender the boot from their Montreal home after learning of his apparent indiscretion.

they're holding hands in this one....and you know what that means....awww shiiiit! the best way to get over Lohan making out and dancing with Stavs = home-wrecking ( it's listed as a interest/hobby on her myspace)

Annoying Infomercial Guy's Daughter Gives Timberlake a BeJer

+ +



What do you rotisserie chicken, N*SYNC and bad acting have in common?

Have you heard this one yet? Apparently Justin Timberlake and his much older girlfriend of 3 years, Cameron Diaz have broken up. Well JT told her it was over, since he is releasing a new album soon and going on tour. He wanted to be "free" for the tour dates (and then get back together with her if nothing else pans out, after the tour). I get it, he just wants to sample the groupees and not feel bad about touching no-no's with other girls and having it get back to Cammy.

But some of the gossip sites may have been a little pre-mature when they posted this...because today PEOPLE.com ( http://people.aol.com/people/articles/0,19736,1207418,00.html ) is reporting that they are still together (which could mean a wedding soon?! what?)...so they are either together and getting married soon or JT cut the ho off and he is getting BJs from RONCO's daughter, Lauren Popeil:

You know Ron, right? The annoying infomerical freak! He's got the famed Ronco 2000 Chicken Rotisserie and other useless crap that you sometimes feel like ordering at 4am, especially when you're hungry and you see that chicken just roasting on the rotisserie and you can almost smell the butter (you totally know what I mean). Ok, so JT and RONCO's daughter were seen "clubbin" together and also seen leaving a restaurant in LA? http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1667968 She's definitely cuter and a lot younger than Cameron...and I bet Cameron saw the goss and went to get Botox right away!

some FUN Popeil websites!
http://www.ronco.com/
http://www.popeilfamilystore.com/info.html

it's the weekend...HEEEEEEEY, get your rainbows out!

heeeeey, are you ready for a weekend full of glitter, ROY G BIV, men in trashy women's wear and Liza Minelli, Barbra Streisand and Cher look-alikes? I know I am!

Sunday is when the parade is said to be in full swing around the Lakeview area of N. Halsted (if you're not sure where that is, this is the part of Halsted where there are rainbow posts on every corner)

Some of my top pics for the Pride Fest this weekend: (rated by Glitter Factor 1-5)
all postings from Metromix.com:

'Brokeback' Pride Party
Avenue Tavern2916 N. BroadwayBreak out your best chaps, cowboy hats, boots and bandanas for a hoe-down and Western-style costume contest kicking off Gay Pride weekend. Includes cash prizes for winners and DJ entertainment. Drink specials include $3 Bacardi O bombs and $2 PBR cans.
Don't miss the Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade as it passes by the tavern on Sunday.
Jun. 23: 3 p.m. - 2 a.m.

Rating: GLITTER FACTOR 4 (everyone loves them some Brokeback, but there is less glitter and more of that smell of horsey poop around Michigan Ave. that comes to my mind when I think of Gyllenho & Heathy)


Chicago Dyke March
Trumbull Elementary School5200 N. Ashland Ave.
A procession kicks off at the school's playground and heads east on Foster Avenue, north on Clark Street and east on Bryn Mawr Avenue, culminating in a lakefront rally.
Find more Pride events.--> Jun. 24: 1:30 p.m.

Rating: GLITTER FACTOR 0 (Dykes don't use glitter, come on!)
*Just want to point out that the Dyke March starts at a elementary's school playground. Awesome!

THE MAIN EVENT:
Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade
Halsted Street and Belmont Avenue 3200 N. Halsted St.
The 37th annual Lakeview celebration features floats, bands and politicians. Festivities also include parties and picnics along the lakefront.
The parade starts at Halsted Street and Belmont Avenue and proceeds north on Halsted Street to Broadway, south on Broadway to Diversey Parkway and east to Cannon Drive.

Rating: GLITTER FACTOR 5 (unreal how much glitter there will be there; so much you could become blind. wear goggles just in case!)

Shameless publicity by the Par-ho, another normal day

Have you seen Paris' karaoke song "Stars are Blind?" Most are pissed that she ripped off a UB40 song "Kingston Town" (which reminds me of the Bowie/Vanilla Ice "Pressure/Ice,Ice Baby" mash-up: Vanilla - "My song goes: 'Dun da da dun, da da dunna' and Bowie's song goes "Da da da da da da."). Here she is leaving a club, blasting her new song with her anonymous friend, almost on cue- dancing right as the song goes on.
check out the clip here from TMZ.com
http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1668789

So so retaaaarded.

310-876-4210 -- hit that homie up!

K-Fed wants you to call him or text him, so hit him up, I'm sure the Sperminator has something interesting to say.
check out the clip here:
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2746776

Popozao - by K-Fed, the hit maker

just in case you forgot, remember this is the song that is going to make K-Fed biggggg!

"CANCEL THE ACCOUNT!"

Hardass Cancels AOL Account

I love this! because it is so true. When I tried to cancel my AOL account, the same thing happened to me. They asked me about 50 personal/random questions not pertaining to the reason I called: to cancel AOL .

Ferrari had heard horror stories from other people so decided to record the call. This AOL guy did get fired, but that's 1 down in the masses of customer service employees that are probably trained to "at all costs, do not let them cancel the account. break them down! make them realize AOL is not shitty! they will not cancel!"

Ferrari is a hero to us all, what a hard ass. "I don't know what someone did to you..." (AOL guy)
You know what they did, they f'ed with Vincent, that's what!

Ferarri was last seen driving with this vanity plate:

::BREAKING 80s WASHED-UP CELEB NEWS::

remember this irresitable dynamic duo? (one with a lisp, one without):




From Variety.com:

Former teen heartthrobs Corey Feldman and Corey Haim have teamed with RDF USA ("Wife Swap") on "The Coreys," a hybrid improv comedy that would center on fictional versions of themselves a la "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

"The Coreys" picks up with Feldman living the comfortable suburban life with his wife Suzie and son, until circumstances bring his old pal Haim back into the picture. Episodes would follow Haim -- single and the total opposite of Feldman -- as he shakes life up for the Feldmans.



Trying to be like 'Curb' or in the style of 'Curb,' is going to be quite a task. These Coreys ain't no middle-aged Jewish man that everyone hates...but I could see people hating them after this show. From the creators of the the ingenius "Wife Swap" this is born...weird on so many levels. Even though I rag on this now, I will be watching.

Corey Love!

"Screech, create a diversion while we sneak into the sporting goods store!" (Zack Morris)

Screech is going to lose his house. Trying to not go out in a MC Hammer type fashion (please tell me you saw that Behind the Music), Screech or Dustin Diamond, is trying to get money from his fans (if you would call them that) to save him from being homeless and well look at the man, he's almost on his way there. Although I bet he is pictured here in designer jeans and just grew the beard for the yes-I-am-broke-please-save-me effect.

If you buy a shirt, you save a little piece of the Screech, tear.
http://www.getdshirts.com/index.html

I have to end this post with a really hard-ass quote straight from the "Dman" himself, straight from his website:
"One phone call later I was telling the Stern show what had happened.Time to pay the piper Arthur. You shouldn't have f...ed with the Dman."

pics of the day: you're nuts Cruise! Liza, what?! JOE PERILLO?

<- this pic clearly says:"I'm CRAZY! and you know it!"
(somebody get him to a mental hospital)




Do I really have to write anything
here? This is unreal, yea Liza,
awesome.



























Chicago Scenesters: Joe Perillo (famed BMW dealerships owner with local home-made commercials & Shelley Howard (the famous 60 yr. old scenester- http://shelleyvision.net ). Hairy (well one), tanned (well the other) and looking SNAZZZZZY.

sweet jesus, i found 80s heaven!

this guy named "king of beaver" is really my king because he has a site with all of the glorious 80s music videos you could ever wish for. someone created my heaven and i'm so excited, i just can't hide it you karma karma karma chamelion. gotta go, it's time for red red wine.

http://www.kingofbeaver.com/music_videos/

Connie Chung Update: More ears across America have been damaged

Chung’s farewell serenade a hit on the Web
‘If anyone took it seriously, they really need to get a life’ says Chung
(from AP; http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13446973/)

On the Saturday finale of MSNBC’s “Weekends with Maury & Connie,” Chung sang a version of Bob Hope’s old theme song “Thanks for the Memory” to her husband and co-host, Maury Povich. A clip of the performance — complete with mood-setting candles and an accompanying grand piano — is the most popular clip of the week on the video Web site YouTube.
As of Tuesday afternoon, more than 413,000 people had viewed the video of Chung — a rating that might have saved “Weekends with Maury & Connie,” from being canceled. The half-hour talk show, which featured the two discussing news events, averaged about 232,000 viewers since debuting Jan. 7.

*If you read the whole article, you will find a great quote from Connie explaining how she mainly did the song to piss off Maury. That is jab #2 I've seen (I'm sure there's more), since she claimed to have "married an incompetent man" on "Weekends with Maury & Connie" to Maury's face. His response: "Did you really just say that on the air?"

I'm glad I could help 'ol Con-dog out and post her horrendous serenading on my blog. I know my 5 readers enjoyed it!

An oldie, but a good, good, goodie!

The View: Star on speakerphone, explaining her new perky tits; Joy is pissed

Here is another nauseating "yell fest" where no one can really hear what anyone is saying on The View, but at the end if you rewind it like 5 times you can hear Star call Joy, via conference call, "still a bitch!"

Whoa, now that's great TV. No one cares about your boobs Star, no one cares about Big Gay Al, Elizabeth Hassleback still sucks and has a screachy voice...and someone please take this show off the air!

More yelling on The View (To Hasselback: zip it! you damn footballer's wife)

Sandra Bernhard vs. the idiots on the View

God I hate the View...anyone that challenges their I'm-going-to-talk-to-hear-myself-talk-even-though-my-opinion-is-most-likely-off attitude, is good in my book.

Hasselback can't handle being called "honey" by Bernhard, and boohoo, we really feel ya on that one Hassel. Is it just me, or do they try and find more annoying fixtures for The View (swap out Lisa Ling for this young idiot whose husband plays football; swap out Viera for big gay Rosie and then we'll cover all of the demographics; we can't lose Star because then we'll have no diversity, someone might pull an affirmative action thing on us; but Star sucks, although her and Behar have great arguments, I mean chemistry)
*This is the mind of the producers on The View.

Someone please tell me, dear god why has that show been on the air for 8 years?

F'in S.O.S!
I'm starting an alliance: Annoyed TV Watchers for Canceling The View

word to your mother, l.lo! we found the REAL celeb and d-listers myspace profiles. not the made up ones that their "biggest fan" makes for them

**note: posting this again just for fun and for all you celeb stalkers out there (or just MySpace/Friendster/Facebook stalkers)

*here there are, tadaaaa. fun to read and to quote the really annoying US Weekly, "Stars, they're just like us!" *

www.myspace.com/pumkin1980 Pumkin from Flavor of Love (she's getting married...to a...)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=60978664 New York from Flavor of Love

www.myspace.com/bigjapan Adam Brody's band (from the OC, for those living under a rock)

http://www.myspace.com/kritik21 Jonathan Cheban-party promoter, friend of celebs

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=95135 Kelly Osbourne

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=59780377 Lohan

p.s. I have to give credit to Maris Martin, who helped me with some of these...celeb stalker extroadinaire

all of YOUR wildest dreams are coming TRUE!

Remember Pedro's promise to his high school if he were to become President? To make "everyone's wildest dreams come true?"

It definitely reminds me of a certain classmate named Eric, who ran against one of the most popular guys in 8th grade, for President. His entire campaign was based around his promise to provide us "colored water" in all of our school's drinking fountains. It sounded great to some, weird to others and inconceivable to most. It was his thing, but middle school was not a movie and everyone ended up voting in the "cool kid," what else did you expect?

But then there was "Napoleon Dynamite," the genuis of a film that made rural in and bow hunting skills a new popular "like" or "hobby/interest" on tweens and teens, MySpace, Facebook, Friendster's categories. Apparently Pedro really does have skills and (watch out, your wildest dream is just now coming true), he is on TOUR!

From vueweekly.com
[Napoleon Dynamite’s surprise success and the subsequent merchandising bonanza of cheap knockoff Pedro shirts has done nothing but help this aspiring DJ. With his rave and dance-party promotions company, Nocturnal Rampage, Ramirez has managed to create a thriving side project, fueled largely by the success of his memorable role as Napoleon’s sidekick. Ramirez, who learned to DJ from his brothers at an early age, has been running his company for the better part of three years, and he’d be the first person to admit that he’s milking the cult popularity of Napoleon Dynamite for all it’s worth. “Demand for our music has gotten so much higher,” Ramirez says. “We used to sell our CDs at music festivals for $20, but now they’ve gone to about $40. Other promoters want me to host their shows, but my time is already so short due to my acting and music.”

The only disappointing aspect of his fame is the way his sudden recognizability has hobbled his otherwise sociable nature. “The last time I performed,” he says, “security had to take people down from the stage because they kept trying to climb up. It’s sort of cool and I don’t mind, but it had gotten really crazy. Security has to take me through the back to avoid fans. I used to like to walk through the crowd at shows and talk to the audience, but I can’t really do that anymore without getting pulled left and right.”]

do your thang Pedro... do your thangggggg!

I wish I would have known this earlier. He was at the Apartment this weekend in the LP, whoops...I missed him. Did anyone check out his "skills?"

Mos Def, the PIMP DADDY of the 2000s

I would love to see them do one of these on Paris, it would be one of those fold-out or 10 page spreads...



I honestly did not realize what a P.I.M.P Lohan was. The 20 men on this page, from PEOPLE mag, are impressive. It's safe to assume that there are probably a lot on here that were just "buds" she was seen out with or possibly just drunken make-outs, and only one of the guys on here (well maybe 2), were her actual "boyfriends."





Here is the break-down of the guys...

Harry Judd-new, fresh meat straight from the movie she just filmed. Most likely got ancy on the set and they hooked it a little bit, but I'm sure she made it clear (since he is not a big star) that this was not going any further than the set of "Just My Luck"

Colin Farrell-he's such a ho, he's been with Brit, enough said. That was a O.N.S for sure.

Wilmer- I can't help but always hear "100 dollars in cash-money" in his weird-ass "yes I am Latino" accent on Yo Momma, everytime I hear his name. He's a legit Lohan boyf.

Aaron Carter-this one probably makes her puke, but it's ok...it was back in the Disney days, people are starting to forget about it.

Talan-he had a short-lived romance with Kim Stewart (woof) that was all publicity. I could see this has a legit hook-up or drunken make-out, but who knows considering he'll do anything for an extra 15 seconds of fame.

Diego- sorry buddy, don't know you. Lohan probably played you.

Joe- Mr. Girls Gone Wild. He's cool in my book, and kinda creepy...doubt anything really happened there, but nice try PEOPLE.

Bruce- OLD, WRINKLEY BALLS. Ask Demi.

Jared-he might be gay, it's not confirmed but he is wearing eyeliner in that pic and you know he looks at himself in the mirror numerous times a day. I think they hook-up still...or maybe she is a crazed fan of 30STM? She is always wearing band paraphanalia

Sean Lennon- easily partied with him only, considering she was working on a film about his father

Leo- from Giselle to Lohan? I doubt it...

Richie- "Weekend in the Hamptons '05" explains it all. Newsflash Richie: You were a O.N.S, or in this case a O.W.S. I love how PEOPLE tried to cover that up, it's a family mag right?

Jamie Dornan- "Held hands" oh come on, barf! Now everyone she touches is Lohan property! Somehow I feel like I am reading TEEN or TEEN PEOPLE or TEEN VOGUE or YM or SEVENTEEN, yuck.

Shaun White- I can't hate on him really, he's an awesome boarder. But the carrot top 'do is not becoming...and 2 red heads don't make a right!

Ryan Adams & Bryan Adams- I know, they're not related...but both make really crappy, woe is me/love song adult contemporary. "Spent time" and "stayed at his home" doesn't mean shit to me, but obvs we know Lohan is a P.I.M.P and PEOPLE is just trying to help a sista out

Stavs- totally a get-back-at-that-whore-Paris-makeout (and hook-up?). that's all, and no one is sure that he can speak english anyway?! OPA!

Jamie Burke- Cisco Adler wanna-be, and just another Lohan man that she pimped.

Brody Jenner- He's hot, I can't lie about that but Cavaleri has got him on lock down. Also the quote here says that he has "claimed to date her." Did anyone ask Lohan about this one, she might not concur. He's still hot.

Brett Ratner- so since she attended a party at his LA home, that means they hooked up? Wow...that one was a stretch PEOPLE...

and to conclude: Lohan, you are a motha F-in P.I.M.P, and most of the captions have said she just "made-out" with these guys...sounds like college to me...not like "One Night in Paris"

PIMP ON L.LO

the best way to say you're sorry...

JOIN THE TEAM!




























(*credits go to Marisa Martin for getting me this gem of a pic!)

"everybody's got their cup, but they ain't chipped in"

"Rollin' down the street smoking *bleep* sippin' on gin & juice (laid back)
With my mind on my money and my money on my mind"

(I only bleeped it, because you know Hicks would not go for that sort of "cussin' ")

Exactly the duet you pictured Taylor Hicks, recent American Idol winner, to do with the king of chronic, the master of schnizzles, Snoop Doggy Dogg!

Taylor Hicks and Snoop collabo on "Gin & Juice" at an Alabama music festival, so random, and you know Snoop was like "alright just get that silver haired white boy out here and make him do the harmonica (even though we don't need one for Gin & Juice)"

Check out the sweet footage here:
http://myfoxal.com/myfox/