a friend of a friend wants to 'do him dirty'

(click to enlarge)
love it!

i just shat my pants

what went down outside of K Fed's house:

take that Kev! i'm gonna F up your explorer with my umbrella! where the hell are sean p. and jayden? i want to take the kids with me to rehab! KEEEEEVVVVIN! get outta here you damn paparatzo!

i can't just IGNORE baldy

i mean, it's HUGE right. Brit really knows how to upstage the sudden death of a celebrity, doesn't she? that's right, BUZZ IT. according to OK! magazine:

FedEx and Brit got into a huge fight on Friday, the day she so memorably shaved off all her hair.

"They had a huge argument," says the mag. "Kevin threatened Britney that he was going to have people test her hair to find out exactly what she's been up to. She was so scared. That was what made her have her head shaved."

i'm just trying to figure out if there was ever a way out of this? could she have gone back, before she cheated on JT and he smeared the story all over his song and music video "Cry Me a River?" could she have been high when she first met KFed and thought he was good looking and not the horrible attempt to be the second coming of Vanilla Ice? i don't think that she ever wanted to change really, think about it...she was a trailer trash success story and even though she walked around in flip flops sometimes or usually barefoot (mainly in gas station bathrooms), had one thick accent that emphasized her bad english, the.worst.fashion.sense.ever she still had more money than she probably ever imagined, and adoring fans.

the adoring fans are checking out. her album she was supposedly recording was rejected, KFed was in a super bowl commercial, everyone saw her hoo ha like 10 times even my grandma did (how many people can say that about their hoo ha!)

what about plan B? it could have changed everything...[source: Brankspankin.com]

HELP: there is definitely NOT enough reality TV on TV

in EXCITING reality TV news:

Oxygen signed a deal with Go-Go Lucky Prods. to produce "Rodeo Girls," which it described as " 'Laguna Beach' at the rodeo," and with Reveille for "Adfight," a reality series delving into the advertising world.

[source: variety.com]

hmm...Adfight, wow is that catchy! scandals! creatives dating account people! new business! "open" dress codes! should be CRAZY.

and Rodeo Girls, "Laguna at the rodeo" huh? what a S T R E T C H. if there are cowboys that talk as slow and simple as Jason and Dieter from Laguna and cowgirls that ONLY shop and talk shit, well and do rodeo, it might work.

to all you woo'ers

YEA YOU, the one who just woo'ed in spinning class.
the one who just woo'ed (and clapped) at Night at the Museum.
the contestant on Wheel of Fortune who just woo'ed on EVERY spin.
the club-goer/chicago collegey bar-goer who woo'ed during "Livin' On a Prayer," "Pour Some Sugar on Me," "Summer of '69," "Sweet Child O' Mine," "Welcome to the Jungle" "Don't Stop Believin" and "Here I Go Again."

Arsenio Hall would appreciate your "woo's" BUT I would just like to put a bagel in your mouth, duct tape it, and then put a muzzle over that.
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dear spinning class woo'er:

class does not get more exciting or any easier when or if you 'woo,' in fact it's harder to concentrate on the "hill" i am trekking up with my stationary bike. i'm trying to envision the finish line at the top of the hill, me beating everyone and all i hear is your 'woo's'! i lose concentration and lose the race because my brain is inundated with cheerleader verbal diarrhea (really peppy screams or just woo's).

so next time the instructor, that i realize you're friends with and might be trying to give her a pat on the back, tells us to "turn it up" don't woo, just turn up the intensity on your damn bike in silence. it's 6:30am in the morning, too early for a woo fest.

-the one in class who kept staring at you after every 'woo'
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dear movie theater guy:

i'm going to make this short and sweet considering it's hard to write a long letter to someone who actually enjoyed "Night at the Museum" enough to actually "woo" and clap at the end, i just can't relate. 2 things--1. it is a movie that has been pre-recorded, not live theatre and 2. although the clap happens frequently at the movie theater, the "woo" is neither necessary nor suitable for NATM.

i can't get back the 2 hours of my life that I spent watching this flick, but at least i can have a true opinion if someone asks me how it was. Absolutely wretched.

-the girl sitting behind you
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dear wheel of fortune contestant:

i am forced to watched WOF while I am getting my stuff together in the locker room at my gym, and usually my workout ends around the time that WOF is playing. it's not fair, especially when the "teen" version is on. but today, i heard you talking about your family to Sajack and even though he didn't ask you to tell him everything about them, you still did. you also got the first spin and then was on a roll (skillfully just missing the Bankruptcy twice and scoring a trip to Key West) , and then the woo's started flowing like beer in frat house. EVERY SPIN. EVERY DAMN SPIN. i was trying to get out of the locker room faster, but there's just no rushing when you're tired and sweaty after a 9-5 work day.

did you win? did all that "woo'ing" get you anywhere? it ruined my night.
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dear post-college guy/girl at a chicago collegey bar:

i've heard this "set" of college replays before. EVERY NIGHT, yes it was the same damn playlist. a little Bon Jovi, a little GNR, a little White Snake, a little Journey and every person is in a drunken sing-along. i have to admit, those songs were GOOD in college, it was like i had just discovered them on Napster and burned them to a blank CD. but no, they have been around for decades and they are the ONLY BAR ANTHEM. keep those on repeat, go ahead, i'm just not singing along anymore...i can't do it after the 1,000th time. it seems like every time you play these "classics"(meaning the innovative DJ at the bar), the crowd just goes wild, like no matter what was going on, they hear the rif for "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and everything seems to be alright, even if they just saw their boyfriend making out with the "beer girl."

it's not your bad DJ skills that hurt the most, it's the woo's that ensue after, during, before each of these songs (there may be more songs that i am missing). it's a woo that starts at the beginning of the song and goes on about 10-20 seconds after the song is over. it's non-stop woo-age and if you play them all in a row (which is what usually happens), it's almost 30 minutes to an hour of straight up woo-anation.

can i DJ next time? McFadden's Chicago- click for their myspace
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