you can't take a HO to a HOtel!

Oh my, have we come a long way since Taradise, haven't we?




What have we got here...hmmm...a psychadelic blousy top (to cover her bulging beer belly), a shorter hair cut that's so greased the Soul Glow guy from Coming to America would be jealous, and the shorter do is because she is trying to seem more "serious" (her definition of serious is only having 6 drinks a night and not doing any pixie sticks dust), a cut-off jean skirt--homemade for sure and just begging to be looked under when she sprawls on the ground of a bar in the VIP section, and some clear plastic wedges (wooo, straight from the Lover's Lane collection, quite awesome, right?)

Sweet Jesus, this girl's on a life-long Spring Break. Tequila Poppers anyone?

clap, clap, clap....it's family feud

you know the incessent clapping at the beginning of Family Feud when you know it's about to get wiiiiillllld? Yeah, that's the kind of clapping I'm talking about! There is a silent bitch fight going on between Nicky and Paris, and you heard it here first. Well we all know that Perez will not post anything negative about the Hiltons on his site, much less a sisterly feud, so here you go...this is my prediction:

Ok, so this is Nicky's newest genius move: The Nicky O Hotel

OOOO weeeee sounds pretty F-in sweet to me. Nicky O, like Bacardi O but trashier and with a smaller boyfriend tagging along (yea, E from Entourage). The hotel is the obvious next step after creating her hideous My-Little-Pony-pastel line and then line of bags that belong at Claire's. So shiny, so pleathery, so "hott," right Paris? So Paris is promoting her new single and album hard core, well the music video is actually soft-core porn, but that's besides the point. And Nicky exclaimed in an article to PEOPLE that this is "her summer."

"I'm on my Tippy Toes!"

Whoa! Watch it bitch, Par-ho is on to you and your I-need-to-open-a-hotel-to-overshadow-Paris ways, watch out sista, literally! The first hotel will open in Miami and will be a more "party theme" and the second will open in my town, Chicago and be a more "relaxed theme." Wow sounds awesomeeeeeee. The Hilton sisters always describe things with so much detail, for example: "That's hot!"(overused, bore) "Firecrotch, hahaha."(Brandon Davis/Lohan escapade) "I'm self-titling my album because that describes me." (Paris' Paris album) "There is going to be a lot of marble and a big chandellier, it's hot." (Nicky describing her new hotels, borrowing from Paris)

Read all the dets here: http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1211011,00.html

this is a music video, like duh!? it's free, it's not $5.99 plus tax at your local mo or hotel.

can i get some pizza? or maybe just a weiner dog. ok, i'll settle for a philly cheese steak

...and the meat head of the week goes to...


all kicked-the-shit-out-of and ready to party like a rock star you motha f'er! yaaaaaah, that's right.

ahhh, shiiiit, weeeeee...i need to catch up!

I was out of town, so sue me! Here is what I missed, did you miss it too while on holiday this weekend? So much happened motha f'ers, let's do the rundown...


Lohan turned 20. Vinnifer are engaged (secretly, and waiting to let the word out because of bradgelina's new baby). Kathy Griffin's X screws her for $72,000, turns out it wasn't her looks that attracted him. NPH is G.A.Y? (that's Neal Patrick Harris or Doogie Howser, M.D. to those who are living under a rock and never saw Harold & Kumar). Hoff got so wasted at Wimbledon, he got kicked out, no one else on Baywatch would ever do that! LIL' KIM IS FREE! Time to party and let those tatas out and back into their natural habitat, a twirly pastie. In more Lohan news, she is dating like a man these days, or that's code language for: P.I.M.P., but we already knew that (see my old post about La Lohan's pimpin'). Wait a second, now Vinnifer aren't engaged?? http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/05/jen-and-vinces-non-engagement/ . the 3rd season of Laguna starts August 16th. Vanessa Manillo & Nick kinda make it official that they're official, well she does. BRIGITTE NIELSON marries that Italian guy, Flav demands she gives back the gold teeth her gave her.


PEACE LOHAN!

Ashlee Simpson sucks at selling tickets to her concert, can you say, S.H. S.H. S.H.I.T P.O.P.? Zack Barf, I mean Braff & Jessica Simpson, weird & makes me nauseus. Big Ben Wallace sells out for Chi-town to the tune of 60 mil. ahhhhh....did i get it all?


this is definitely what the Hoff was wearing at Wimbledon, no wonder they kicked his drunk ass out! leather jacket, black speedo, helloooo
NPH, is it true? Him & Clay Aiken are just killing it for all the tweens out there.
R.I.P. "Strange Love 2" Wait a second, are those Flavor's kids? Whaaaaaaaa?