The Ambiguously Gay Trio

Matthew, Lance, and Jake seem to love each others company a little too much...

see ya bitchessssssssss

i'm heading to NY for the weekend, maybe I will have a few run ins with Lohan, MK & Ash or Par, who knows?

i wanted to leave you with something to chew on for the day....

quote of the moment from MTV's NEXT (gay edition):

"Damn! That guy was so feminine, he makes Clay Aiken look like a construction worker!"

AND...another pic from Lohan's BJ on set the other day....
shiiiiiiiiit, do that in the bathroom. i like Lohan, i just don't want her to turn into Paris.

Lindsay Blow-han

Hardly strikes me as acting...

EVERYTHING in this article from the NY Post is INAPPROPRIATE!

and i mean EVERYTHING!

"He likes African-American women," said Gest's bodyguard, Imad Handi.
And the estranged producer hubby of Liza Minnelli likes to do his pretties' pleasing with a cherry on top.
"He would talk about what he did with women, and that he likes to use whipped cream and cherries," Handi told The Post.
The burly bodyguard was speaking out about his boss' sexual proclivities in response to a lawsuit by a former assistant to the producer who says Gest and Handi sexually harassed him.
In his $300,000 federal court action, Charles Beyer claims that Gest made crude comments about his manhood such as, "You have a small penis, I bet."
Beyer also charged that the estranged Mr. Minnelli "wrote in my calendar on numerous occasions," leaving lewd directions such as, "Shake my penis, make sure it feels good," wash it "in hot water" and "dip it in chocolate fudge."
Beyer said that some of the harassment was physical, too.
He said the producer grabbed his rear end on several occasions and once grabbed his crotch - and even paid Handi $700 to grab it on one occasion.
stop giving me that look, you freak!
Gest denied the charges in court papers, and Handi said they're "absolutely ridiculous" - and has now filed a $3 million defamation suit against Beyer, 35.
"I've been shunned by my family and my mosque as being homosexual" since the allegations went public, the twice-married Handi said.
"I have nothing against homosexuals, and some of my friends are gays, but this has greatly affected me."
The British bodyguard boasted he's so straight that, before he got married, he once had sex with seven women in one night, bringing them all to multiple orgasms.
"That's what I was most famous for in London," he said, adding he's prepared to have all the women testify in the case.
Handi, 34, said Beyer was trying to make a quick buck off Gest and had acted suspiciously ever since Gest hired him in July 2005 to help around his Memphis home.
"He was always nosing around, looking through David's things and eavesdropping," he said.
That included listening in on Gest talking about his sexual exploits, Handi's suit says.
Handi said he "was told by Beyer that Beyer did not approve of Gest's use of whip [sic] cream and cherries during sex with his girlfriends."
Handi also refuted Beyer's claim that Gest destroyed Minnelli's records, and suggested he was trying do some spying on behalf of the allegedly abusive "New York, New York" singer.
Handi said he once walked in on Beyer copying pages from a book Handi is writing called "The Diseases of Liza: The Destructive Path of an Alcoholic." Handi said the book, which recounts his time working for Gest and Minnelli, will be published by a company called the DAMI Group.
Beyer declined comment.
A rep for Gest said, "He will deal with these things in court, not the media."
When Beyer's lawsuit first surfaced, Gest's lawyer, Eddie Bearman, retorted, "All the allegations are false," saying they were merely "a bogus attempt to get money from a celebrity." In addition to Gest's alleged sexual comments to Beyer, the producer is accused of once telling an employee at a casino that Beyer had "had a sex change" and "was actually a woman."
The employee "came to me while I was with my fiancée and congratulated me on such a good job," Beyer's filing says. "It was humiliating."
Gest also supposedly told aging pinup actress Jane Russell that Beyer was married to his male hairdresser.

the beach ball was called "funny looking"

according to popsugar.com, Katie has been spotted in Telluride, CO. looking hit up and busted. and apparently she is there with Suri "beach ball" Cruise. also a store clerk was said to of seen "beach ball" and told gossip insiders that she was "funny looking." that's actually more on the nice side considering you know they're carrying around one of those fake babies in a stroller that look so real but never cry or breathe. yup, that's my next hypothesis.


i mean, no one ever said a beach ball was "cute," it quite circus-like actually.

ahh yeah, that's hot. uhh yeah, scott storch, yeah.

Par-ho's next genius hit (clip of the song put to photos of our #1 ho)

here are the clever lyrics. or should i say, moans and groans?

Ahh

Yeah

That's hot

Uhh

Yeah

Scott Storch

Yeah

wait a second! the following are not reality shows? bad hollywood actor & his groupees, single women in NY, the mafia, neurotic jewish men & mormons?!

oh come on, this whole time....i really thought...

ok, nevermind! i'm so confused! vince isn't real? he's not a real actor? carrie never got together with mr. bigg? samantha never had cancer? charlotte didn't really convert? tony didn't chop ralphie up? adriana never "disappeared?" chloe sivgney is not mormon? (she certainly dresses like one) larry never got jeff's 7-yr old daughter sammy drunk? larry wasn't in the Producers with Schwimmer? whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

apparently someone thought "Aquaman" was actually at the box office this past weekend and they also thought that it beat out Spiderman in '02's box office sales. wow, amazing...last week's Entourage, word for word. or did this idiot pull a Ron Burgundy and read the prompter without even thinking...?
http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/aqua_illusion_pagesix_.htm
http://popsugar.com/10697?sidcheck=1&idcheck=1

in random t-shirt news...

some pret-ty hot tees I came across on the internet:


oh vito...we love you!

gimme some more johhny cakes!





and from our favorite guys at the phat phree.com
LOOK AT MY STRIPED SHIRT!






apparently these tees were spotted at an Arab fest:


enticing...i know and what kind of skiing are we talking about here?

and this is not a tee, but a huge controversial billboard just waiting for Liberals to attack:

is this another one of those Jews of Jesus things? alcohol is not going to get people to be jewish, and like jesus...when jesus was the one who branched off to start christianity. and i believe the drink of choice was wine for most disciples and moses' alike.

http://www.jewsforjesus.org/

http://www.jfjonline.org/

to see gawker.com's hilarious cover of the J4J advertising in NY subways and their new controversial tees, click on this

and the NY post's cover of J4J

LAGUNA BI-OTCH!

hahahaha, god i love it. the real Laguna Beach starts mid-August. JESSICA!! JESSICA!!
(props to Marisa Martin for this find)

a big mac a day keeps the size 0 clothing away

Raven Symone on the Cosby Show: young, cute, innocent...skinny!

da da da, da da da dammmmmmn!
homegirl got busy at the buffets from age 5 to 18...

a 40-something boozer, loser & user

Strangers with Candy Movie Trailer

this show was on comedy central a while ago and i enjoyed it's awkwardness then.
in theaters now!
jerry blank is my boozing & using hero!

there are MORE hoes that want to bump uglies with FLAVOR!!

YESSSSSSSSS...there will be another Flavor Love, starting August 6th and I can't wait for all of the "boyeeeeees," "your time is up," mispelled nicknames galore, tight ho outfits, white girls that could care less (most not even knowing who he is or what group he was in) and maybe a cameo or two by crazy New York and Gitta. This is one of my favorite celeb-reality shows on VH1, I cannot lie but I am still not sure why all of these classy hoes want to hump greasy 40+ yr old Flavor Flav? This is why I watch...

here are some casting tapes from VH1's Flavor of Love 2

The Real World Key West: Where People Start Looking Like Tonya Harding

whoa. remember these MALL BANGS? oh hell yes, they were tubular, i know.

Tonya Harding was hot then and still inspires her fans to this day, especially that psycho ani-chick on the Real World Key West, Paula. Paula, Tonya! Tonya, Paula! It's kind of like Finkel and Einhorn, Einhorn and Finkel! So Paula, that classy bitch who eats small pieces of salad julliened, got arrested for biting her boyfriend in a domestic dispute. What a weird defense mechanism, but I guess she's just so weak the only weapon she has left is her teeth, I mean they never chew anything anyways.

Here's the real story:

http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/11/cast-member-gets-a-taste-of-the-real-world/

i love my fans!!!

backstreet's back, alriiiiiiiiiight!

ooo wee, this is just one teen boy band laguna mess....

these 2 together? don't forget to catch all of the fun on the new The Carter's reality show(on E in the fall). Alex M. got into a relationship with Nick just in time to make it on another reality show, good timing bitch!

"offensively funny"

it's definitely how we like! this is niceeeeeeeee.....
(click the niceeeeeee for the trailer of the Borat movie)

Goldie?

Jeff GOLDblum and Nicole RitchIE (Goldie)? What in the? holy hell what has happened?

hmmm...take a gander at what they might look like, side-by-side.

umm...mama don't like!

the beach ball has a birth certificate...

real or fake? no one really knows and i still hold to my hypothesis: Katie Holmes was really pregnant with Kevin Kline's baby the whole time and had the baby earlier than the 9 months it would have taken for Cruise to sperminate her and then her have the baby, therefore that is why Katie (oh sorry Tom, Kate), looked like she had a damn beach ball under her clothes for a few months. The beach ball was big at times and smaller at times, naturally it deflates every once and a while and when it did, Tom and Team Fake Baby, had to blow that damn thing right back up again, which is why on some days her belly looked extremely large and freshly infalted beach-ballish. Catch my drift....?

TMZ.com reports:
First, St. John's Hospital has a policy of filing birth certificates within 10 days of birth. In this case, Suri was born on April 18 but the certificate was not filed until May 8, 20 days later. An official from the hospital told TMZ that the delay occurred because they needed a signature from the parents or a representative of the parents certifying birth, and that person did not come in until May 4. The person who signed is labeled "friend." The signature is not legible.
Also, the "Attendant or Certifier" who signed the certificate -- Anne Heffernan, RNC -- was not in the delivery room and did not see the baby. But a hospital rep tells TMZ that Heffernan is authorized to sign when the doctor is not available. A hospital rep said "normally the doctor signs" but it isn't a requirement.
Finally, the hospital rep said that the circumstances that triggered the eventual signing of the birth certificate were that Suri needed a passport and a birth certificate is a prerequisite to obtaining one.

to see an enlarged version of the birth certificate, click below:
http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/10/exclusive-suri-cruise-birth-certificate/