we really just want to know WHY he was driving a 1995 Saturn??

from PEOPLE.com:
Sixth Sense, star Haley Joel Osment was hospitalized Thursday morning after the car he was driving hit a pillar and turned over, the Associated Press reports. Osment, 18, reportedly lost control of the 1995 Saturn he was driving around 1 a.m. near his home in Los Angeles, a spokesman for the L.A. County sheriff said.

first of all, i'm sure most are baffled that little Haley Joel can drive and actually, he happens to be LEGAL too, that's just one big WTF??!! to me! the funny thing is, the only thing that sticks out in this entire article that PEOPLE and most of the articles I have read seem to highlight a few times is his "1995 Saturn." God, PEOPLE, you're so shallow! (i'm a snob too!) but, we hope you recover little guy!

blame it on "disco," cop from the village people, but we know better...

Milli Vanilli tried this one too, except in their case they tried to 'blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah.' Obviously that didn't work and one guy died (Hanz) and the other guy (Franz) has to live with the fact that he was in a lip-syncing, dreadlock-swaying gay pop group that won a Grammy, but then had it taken away because they were singing karaoke the whole time (just like Britney Spears and Ashlee Simpson these days. if only Milli Vanilli had some hits in the late 90s-early 2000s, they would have gone platnium. well, maybe not). Why does the cop from the Village People think that he could get away with his "disco" excuse? I'm guessing he never heeded the call of the "YMCA" motto- "Young man! Get your pot off the shelf!"

[pop bitch.com] reported back in October that Victor Willis, the "cop" in Village People, was on the run
from the law in California. Well, Victor was caught and has gone up against the beak.
Victor pleaded no contest to charges of possessing cocaine, crack and a loaded gun when stopped by traffic police. And for giving the police a false name and then going on the run for six months. He faces either a spell in rehab or two years in jail when he's sentenced on 1st September. The cop says he's now sober, for the first time in 25 years, and blames everything on "the excesses of the disco era that many artists like me found difficult to shake almost 30 years later." Still, it's not all bad. Victor's got a book deal and plans to tour as the cop next summer, if he's not in the big house getting bummed in the showers.

what a bad excuse. blaming it on "the disco era" 30 years later. he had ample time to "shake" his habits and "get his pot off the shelf" (or, coke off the shelf!)

Likes: cycling, yoga, peyote, bandanas, brewskis, downward facing dog on the beach

or on Lance's back! (credit to best week ever blog for this photoshopped gem!)

so who is Lance going to pick, Matthew or Jakey? Here's what Lance is probably going through in his head:

Matty is such a drunk ass sometimes, but his body can flex in amazing ways, although he does have stubby arms and lighter chest hair, I really enjoy his cool, calm and collected voice. He was with a hollywood cover-up girl Penelope for a while (first she dated Crazy Tom and then Matty, so he's got to be swinging a little) He makes me laugh, but really I am substance-free, it's hard to be with someone who smokes peyote.

("shhhh Lance, don't say a word brotha")

Jakey. He really knows what I like and he's had some prior experience with Brokeback Mountain. Now he's wearing spandex all the time and I guess I'll just have to see what happens in France...

(plus, look at that face, that come-hither-up-t0-no-good-grin)

just because they have sticks....

doesn't make them rapists! ok, i am pro-lacrosse, i can't help it. i grew up in a town where lacrosse was a very popular sport and i, myself played lacrosse on a very successful team. but yes, Duke is kind of ruining it for us (well at this moment in time) since it's still fresh in most minds that lacrosse = rape, it's hard to find anything positive about the sport in national news currently. a lot of people in New York seem disgruntled and confused why New York has a new NLL lacrosse team. right now, they are in the process of naming the team and the NY Post's Page Six reports that most of the names have been rejected, because well, they're great:

July 19, 2006 -- NEW York's National Lacrosse League team that's set to play at Madison Square Garden isn't having much luck finding an appropriate name. Team officials have received thousands of suggestions in its ongoing "Name the Team Contest" on the team's temporary Web site, newyorknll.com. Early contenders include the Chill, the Freedom, the Gothams and the Rage. Those rejected so far include the E-Z Prostitutes, the Muggers, the Smurf Butts, the Stick-Up, the Mafia, the Purple Firetrucks, the Sewer Rats, the Bada Bing, the Sewer Gators, the Naked Guys with Big Stix and the Will Win More Games Than the Knicks.

SEE!! No one will take lacrosse seriously because a few guys wanted a little gang bang with some willing and able strippers! dammit, such a great sport too!

got any good suggestions for New York's NLL lacrosse team? don't use Stick it to a Stripper, that's my suggestion!

Thanks, chi. Your team name, Stick it to a Stripper, has been entered on our team name list. We will review and vote on the top names. Keep visiting our website as our team grows throughout the year and to see if you won the 4 season tickets!

in pee pee & poo poo news...

gotta love the Gawker for always incepting confidential company emails from magazines. this one is disgusting, quite graphic and very dictatorship-esque. good thing i'm posting this well before lunch time...

Bridal Mag Employees Forced to Do Pee-Pee Dance
We know we have it easy, sitting here at home, stereotypically pajama-clad and content to avoid places with cubicles and/or workspaces. Though our bathrooms are hardly beacons of Scrubbing Bubbles, we also know we are blessed in that when we inevitably choose to relieve our bodies of the fragrant waste we carry, we may do so in the privacy of our own homes. We've no one to answer to but ourselves, and we'll piss on the toilet seat when we damn well please.
But the emails we've received from one workplace, where employees are essentially on shitter lock-down, serves as a harrowing reminder of the challenge you readers face every day: the communal bathroom. At Bridal Guide magazine, errant employee urine (we'll spare you the speculation about bridal-mag spinsters and incontinence) has resulted in the locking of the restroom door, wherein employees may only take their post-coffee dumps with the office manager's permission and keys.
After the jump, the Potty Nazi gives everyone gets a "time-out."

-----Original Message-----

From: Office Manager @ Bridal Guide
Sent: Wednesday, July 19, 2006 4:05 PM
To: All Female Employees
Subject: Bad Behavior
Importance: High

I don't know if it is the heat or what, but some of us are forgetting our manners - not to mention hygiene.There have be two instances this week where the conditions in the ladies rest room qualify for condemnation by the Health Department.Come on Ladies - I know it is hot at and we are all dragging a bit - but if you are too tired to not only clean up after yourself, but aim properly, I suggest you go see your doctor!This is not funny! It is disgusting and totally disrespectful to your fellow co-workers who share these facilities. I would also be interested in who the guilty party(s) thinks should clean up after their disgraceful behavior!If this should happen again - I will lock the door and you will have to ask me for a key to use the ladies room.
Further notices on this subject will go to ALL employees of Bridal Guide and not just the women!

-----Original Message-----
From: Office Manager @ Bridal Guide
Sent: Wednesday, July 19, 2006 4:51 PM
To: All Female Employees
Subject: FW: Bad Behavior
Importance: High

Nice job! Whoever left the tampon applicator/wrapper in the toilet - if you were trying to find out how far you can push me - congratulations, now you know.Starting July 31, 2006 the ladies room will be locked during business hours from 9-5. The only reason you are getting a week's reprieve is because I am on vacation next week.You had better hope the trains work better in the next few weeks than they have this week (due to heat) because the ladies room will not be open until I get here.There will be NO passing the key to another person. The key will come back to me and not passed on. I will inspect the ladies room before the next person is allowed to use it. If I am very busy and cannot get to it, the next person must let me know if there is a problem or they will be considered the responsible party. Way to go!

it's so interesting to find out who's writing all of those cutesy articles about weddings and getting married! it's a bunch of dirty, unhygenic nasties!

I Really Really Really Want a ZIGGA ZIG, AAAAAH

about 5 minutes ago (a few days) we heard the weird and disturbing news that Eddie Murphy was shacking up with former Spice Girl, Melanie B - the 'Scarier' of the Mels. Funny man with x-90s pop star with funny hair...perfect.

ok, so now they're getting married. hmm...does anyone care? somehow Spice Girls still find their way into the goss mags...somehow.

Pam Anderson goes "yodeling in the valley" with Kid

(hopefully you remember that super old Kid Rock reference, before he was a bad-ass country rockin/rapper, he was a straight up white rapper) - the entry below from Pam's diary on her website is about her and Kid Rock deciding to get hitched.

from Pam Anderson's official website:
7/18/2006 I'm Getting Remarried!!!
Yes. I'm finally getting remarried...it's been a whirlwind...spontaneous but well thought through. Feels like I've been stuck in a time warp. Not able to let go of MY family picture...it's been sad and lonely and frustrating....I've raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle. Well my miracle came and went. And came back and came back because he knew that I'd wake up one day and realize that I was waiting for nothing. I'm moving on...I feel like I'm finally free....I'm in love. I'm happy....I see the light...sounds dramatic but it's true.....I know some women can relate to this....My children are getting older. They know the truth and they are strong, smart kids. They love their Dad. They love their new Step Dad who they've known for years...time will pass. Wounds will heal. Some people may never grow up. Actions speak louder than words....watch!

if you can't get enough, here is another story on tmz.com

of course he's a drama queen, he divorced his parents!

Gotta love Macaulay Culkin. He was cute circa hands-on-face-screaming-prepubescent-blondie-left-home-alone...KEVIN!!!!!! But now, you can't be "cute" anymore and whining gets you no where but Page 6 when your girlfriend(fiance actually) finally gets annoyed and goes to the dailies. My question for Mila Kunis is....will this break-up the engagement? If he whines about Israel now, what else will he whine about later. You go to a country where visions of war are around everday and if you don't expect something to ever erupt when you're there on a "relaxing vacation," you should have stayed in safe and secure L.A.

from Page 6:
July 18, 2006 -- MACAULAY Culkin's vacation with "That '70s Show" star Mila Kunis was a big bomb - literally. The couple was relaxing in Israel when Hezbollah started firing rockets at Haifa. Culkin decided they should bolt, but Kunis wasn't pleased. "He's a drama queen," the Jerusalem Post quotes her as saying. The "Home Alone" kid told a flight attendant on their getaway jet there were other problems as well: "We went to the beach, and there were tons of jellyfish - so we figured that even the sea is dangerous."

So what you're saying Mila, is that you're marrying a gay man? Ok, now I get it!

the big O never actually gave her BFF Gayle a big O; Stedman would have been P-O'ed!

from wsoctv.com:
They're not gay -- not that there's anything wrong with that.

HAHAHAH...so Oprah, the real ruler of the universe and daytime TV is not gay, but is Gayle King gay? Are you sure they never experimented? I am so confused!! Thank god someone cleared this up for me:

In the August issue of "O" magazine, Oprah Winfrey opens up about those gay rumors involving her and best friend Gayle King. She said she can see why people think they're an item, because they're always together. She said people ask, "How can you be this close without it being sexual?” But she said it's not. She said the problem is "there isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women." Plus, Winfrey said if they were gay they'd admit it, because there's nothing wrong with being gay. King said the rumors used to bother her, adding "it's hard enough to get a date on Saturday night." But King said she doesn't care anymore.

God, I love me some Oprah!!

BREAKING NEWS is breaking our heart!

BREAKING NEWS: Carmen and Dave split!Monday, July 17, 2006 5:45 p.m. ET

In Touch has learned exclusively that Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro have split. The couple, who were married for two-and-a-half years, have denied rumors of trouble for the past few months, but their publicist released a statement to In Touch on July 17 stating: "Carmen and Dave have amicably split.”

OK, my heart is not broken...I mean, I'm not surprised at all and not really upset. They are the 2nd reality TV couple to have their newlywed lives taped and then after the show dies down, break up. It seemed like they were in love on their show 'Til Do Us Part: Carmen and Dave, but seemed is the key word. Another day, another dump (in hollywood, that is). They have not been seen together for months...and maybe even close to a year, RIGHT? Everyone who reads goss and celeb mags knows this...

Peace Out goes to: Carmen & Dave

shame on you WAMU

well maybe it's just a really crazy and revengeful wife (soon-to-be-x-wife)?? or maybe WAMU (Washington Mutual Bank) is trying to be edgy? I'm not sure...but since I was in NY this weekend and did happen to pass by this billboard and then saw that gawker.com reported on it...I had to post and let you ponder just how nutzo some people can be (the soon-to-be-x-wife or WAMU and their ad agency). i'm glad they were able to get this off their chest...

from gawker.com:

A few readers -- or one marketing flack using several e-mail accounts -- have/has sent us pictures of the following billboard on Houston near Katz's Deli. Clearly poor Emily is distraught, and feckless Steven has gotten his just desserts in a case of public humiliation. Or, you know, it's another douchebag viral ad designed to get people talking.
Our money's on Washington Mutual