Mos Def, the PIMP DADDY of the 2000s

I would love to see them do one of these on Paris, it would be one of those fold-out or 10 page spreads...



I honestly did not realize what a P.I.M.P Lohan was. The 20 men on this page, from PEOPLE mag, are impressive. It's safe to assume that there are probably a lot on here that were just "buds" she was seen out with or possibly just drunken make-outs, and only one of the guys on here (well maybe 2), were her actual "boyfriends."





Here is the break-down of the guys...

Harry Judd-new, fresh meat straight from the movie she just filmed. Most likely got ancy on the set and they hooked it a little bit, but I'm sure she made it clear (since he is not a big star) that this was not going any further than the set of "Just My Luck"

Colin Farrell-he's such a ho, he's been with Brit, enough said. That was a O.N.S for sure.

Wilmer- I can't help but always hear "100 dollars in cash-money" in his weird-ass "yes I am Latino" accent on Yo Momma, everytime I hear his name. He's a legit Lohan boyf.

Aaron Carter-this one probably makes her puke, but it's ok...it was back in the Disney days, people are starting to forget about it.

Talan-he had a short-lived romance with Kim Stewart (woof) that was all publicity. I could see this has a legit hook-up or drunken make-out, but who knows considering he'll do anything for an extra 15 seconds of fame.

Diego- sorry buddy, don't know you. Lohan probably played you.

Joe- Mr. Girls Gone Wild. He's cool in my book, and kinda creepy...doubt anything really happened there, but nice try PEOPLE.

Bruce- OLD, WRINKLEY BALLS. Ask Demi.

Jared-he might be gay, it's not confirmed but he is wearing eyeliner in that pic and you know he looks at himself in the mirror numerous times a day. I think they hook-up still...or maybe she is a crazed fan of 30STM? She is always wearing band paraphanalia

Sean Lennon- easily partied with him only, considering she was working on a film about his father

Leo- from Giselle to Lohan? I doubt it...

Richie- "Weekend in the Hamptons '05" explains it all. Newsflash Richie: You were a O.N.S, or in this case a O.W.S. I love how PEOPLE tried to cover that up, it's a family mag right?

Jamie Dornan- "Held hands" oh come on, barf! Now everyone she touches is Lohan property! Somehow I feel like I am reading TEEN or TEEN PEOPLE or TEEN VOGUE or YM or SEVENTEEN, yuck.

Shaun White- I can't hate on him really, he's an awesome boarder. But the carrot top 'do is not becoming...and 2 red heads don't make a right!

Ryan Adams & Bryan Adams- I know, they're not related...but both make really crappy, woe is me/love song adult contemporary. "Spent time" and "stayed at his home" doesn't mean shit to me, but obvs we know Lohan is a P.I.M.P and PEOPLE is just trying to help a sista out

Stavs- totally a get-back-at-that-whore-Paris-makeout (and hook-up?). that's all, and no one is sure that he can speak english anyway?! OPA!

Jamie Burke- Cisco Adler wanna-be, and just another Lohan man that she pimped.

Brody Jenner- He's hot, I can't lie about that but Cavaleri has got him on lock down. Also the quote here says that he has "claimed to date her." Did anyone ask Lohan about this one, she might not concur. He's still hot.

Brett Ratner- so since she attended a party at his LA home, that means they hooked up? Wow...that one was a stretch PEOPLE...

and to conclude: Lohan, you are a motha F-in P.I.M.P, and most of the captions have said she just "made-out" with these guys...sounds like college to me...not like "One Night in Paris"

PIMP ON L.LO