jack 'em up until you can't feel your crotch

those looks like mom-jeans, but look again, they're actually in-style now. yeaaaaa! (look below at the more attractive people wearing the new style, well minus Mischa Barton)
slap these things on a celeb and you've got insta-trend. it makes the foupa fashionable. wa wa wee wa.
are high-waisted pants, shorts and skirts this season's answer to the "drinking shirt"/pregnant shirt/jumper! (weeee)/dress that would fit a 7 yr. old, but is a shirt for a 20-something chick? have we found a new way to cover up our bellies after a long night or day of drinking, eating, binge drinking, and late night eating? i must say, women feel bloated a lot more than men...is it the P or is it the salty foods or is it our intolerance for putting anything more than water and coffee in our bodies? guys usually don't need these cover-ups or S.O.F.A.s (sweater over fat ass) or S.O.B.B.s (shirt over bloated belly) - but fashion designers are finding a new way - say hello to high waisted designs and goodbye to foupa free time. those foupas are not going anywhere in these almost-camel-toe-creating-innovations."check me out, i'm covering up my foupa although i might develop a camel toe as these high-waisted hot shorts ride up."