com'on joey, gimmie a beat!

i NEED NEED NEED to be on the Singing Bee.

and if i have to makeout with Joey Fatone, 'the fat-one', to get on, i will do it, to it! someone get me a connection, get me to the promise land of the Singing Bee. i could use 50Gs like Lohan could use a nasal passage. you got me?

i kept seeing the teasers for this game show, over and over again, with fat-one's smiling face smeared with cheez whiz and i told myself, "you are not watching that! no matter how 'bad it's so good' it's going to be, you restrain yourself now!" but then i was cooking and i was oh so far away from the TV and clicker, that i just had to watch it once i got so so so far away (maybe 20 feet). my TV is always set to channel 5, primed for instant TODAY SHOW access, so i can catch local Chicago weather expert, Andy Avalos for a weather check and MoMo Viera, Matt & Al--every morning when i'm getting ready to scoot out..sometime between 8:51ish and 9:15ish. back to the kitchen: here i am, cooking up some concoction, and poor little me is stuck watching the fat-one and some Americana contestants butcher the words to top 40. god, it was magical. i loved it and i would have beat out every single person on the show. even the guy who thought knowing the words to "All star" was a huge accomplishment and rare talent. david blaine and cris angel make this guy look like a marionette. wait a second, i'm off topic now.

so anyways, i need to get on this show. i will find a way. i will conquer this thing and win 50Gs. it's too bad the prize money isn't closer to a 'Deal or No Deal'-'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' range..but i'll take that anyways.

joey, i'm waiting...come get me!