Dressing on the side, please.

He believed he could build
[(wow, worst use of pun from the wide collection of R. Kelly's genius songs)
Here are my alternatives:
"I don't see nothing wrong, with a little R in Olympia!"
"Neighbors wanted to 'Toot, toot and beep beep' over R. Kelly"
"Not much 'Steppin' in the name of Love' in R. Kelly's neighborhood"
"Not many 'Happy People' around the king of R&B's home"
(*ok, now that's much better)]
Olympia Fields mayor says R. Kelly makes a better pop star than a neighbor
By Jo Napolitano
Tribune staff reporter
Published May 31, 2006, 11:11 PM CDT

Between behemoth tour buses parked outside his mansion, unlicensed dogs and the garage-sized guardhouse built without a permit, R&B megastar R. Kelly continues to find new ways to exasperate Olympia Fields officials.The village sued the Grammy-winner over the buses, dogs and that pesky guardhouse last year, and now Kelly has filed suit asking the court to let him keep the guardhouse.

Village officials say elements of Kelly's estate just do not fit in Olympia Fields, an upper-middle class, racially diverse community filled with stately colonials and Tudors on sprawling lots. The 79-year-old village, which grew up around Olympia Fields Country Club, describes itself as "a place where old-world charm meets contemporary values."
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I'm not going to lie when I say...that there is no way that a man that talks very openly about "tossin' yo salad" fits into what Olympia Fields is all about it. Yeah, they may like "potatoes and tomatoes," and possibly some ranch dressing, but they sure aren't happy about the guy who put the "R" in R&B, who is on trial for "bumpin' n grindin'" with a 14 year old--(wait a second, there is hardly 'grass on the field' at that age). But my hunch is that they got a hold of that Chocolate Factory CD...read below and you let me know if you trust any woman/child/tot by him...

Girl, you're in the kitchen
Cooking me a meal
Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel
Walk around in your t-shirt
Nothing else on
Strutting past, switching that ass while I'm on the phone
Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes
Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thang that
I want Sex in the kitchen, over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls (Something tells me that nothing else seemed to rhyme with "tippy toes," so buttered rolls had to be where he puts her on the counter, right?)
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed (what restaurant? now it's just getting off subject!)
How would you like it, baby (would you like that)
Tell me right now, pretty baby
Hey man, I'm gon' call you back (this is awesome, he's actually on his cell phone while all of this is going on! love it, "hey man, now that i'm all hot and heavy, let me call you back, thanks!")
Girl, you're in the kitchen, chillin' in your robe
I'm saying to myself, "She better go put on some clothes" (last time i checked she has a t-shirt on and now an addition of a robe)
Tickling and teasing, doing that little dance
Girl, you gon' make me lay you down
And give it to you one mo 'gain
Girl, I'm ready to toss your salad (ok, the rest of the song does not matter, once you hit this line..it's all over. you can't think anymore...your mind is thinking about "tomatoes and potatoes, and ranch and ok, i'm stopping now. so picture this...Ryan and I, at the R. Kelly concert, mind you 2 of the 5 white people there, and 2 of the only people there not creaming their pants for the R, hears this LINE! and our mouths drop...and other girls around us are now climaxing, they're going nuts, screaming "Yeah, you can toos my salad!" BUT the best line I caught was from this one girl who was sweating up a storm, telling Robert to do it to her all night who at that silence when R. Kelly has just finished his "salad...salad...."
"OH, SHIIIIT! YOU CAN PUT SOME CROUTONS AND BACON BITS IN THERE!")
that was all I needed for the night, thank you.
While I'm making love, I'll be feasting (ok, enough!!)
Girl, you're in the kitchen
Sweating up a storm
The oven's on five hundred
So you know the kitchen's warm
Girl, you know just how to get into a brother's mind
Cause here we are still in this kitchen
Doing it for the third time