sub rOcka rOcka On the micrOphOne

"it's baby food"

2008-01-09T17:05:00.001-06:00

08 brings more great news...

2008-01-09T16:02:00.000-06:00

check out this story - weekend at bernie's 3 or just geniuses?

2 bring corpse to store to cash check

By MARCUS FRANKLIN
Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK (AP) -- Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.

David J. Dalaia and James O'Hare pushed Virgilio Cintron's body from the Manhattan apartment that O'Hare and Cintron shared to Pay-O-Matic, about a block away, spokesman Paul Browne said witnesses told police.

"The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side," Browne said.

The men left Cintron's body outside the store, went inside and tried to cash his $355 check, Browne said. The store's clerk, who knew Cintron, asked the men where he was, and O'Hare told the clerk they would go and get him, Browne said.

A police detective who was having lunch at a restaurant next to the check-cashing store noticed a crowd forming around Cintron's body, and "it's immediately apparent to him that Cintron is dead," Browne said.

The detective called uniformed New York Police Department officers at a nearby precinct. Emergency medical technicians arrived as O'Hare and Dalaia were preparing to wheel Cintron's body into the check-cashing store, Browne said. Police arrested Dalaia and O'Hare there, he said.

Cintron's body was taken to a hospital morgue. The medical examiner's office told police it appeared Cintron, 66, had died of natural causes within the previous 24 hours, Browne said.

"He was deceased in the apartment when he was removed by these two," Browne said.

Dalaia and O'Hare, both 65, were being held by police and faced check fraud charges, Browne said.

A call to a telephone number listed for Cintron at the apartment he shared with O'Hare went unanswered Tuesday evening. Police said they didn't have an address for Dalaia or attorney information for him or O'Hare.

[credit: AP wire stories]

sub rocka rocka's holiday card to you...

2007-12-20T11:46:00.001-06:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from....

the creepy american apparel reject ("It's Pat?") :
the spears fam and their new "baby" from their baby girllllll:
"leave britney alone":
and for those of you who hate Perez...happy holidays from youtube, b/c they suspended his account:
NICK_R AT 12/19/07 10:37 AM

Perhaps the Google guys can use one of their weekly meetings with God to discuss the possibility of banning Hilton from existence?

RELUCTANT_FINANCIER AT 12/19/07 09:27 AM

Somewhere, adolescent girls, and sexually confused tween boys are having seizures at this 'news'

[comments from valleywag.com]

[all pics, except for Crocker, from gawker.com]

you betch!

2007-12-20T11:09:00.000-06:00

just get it...

feel like going holiday shopping for yourself?? yea, me too!

this is going to be the breast xmas ever daddy!

2007-12-18T10:48:00.001-06:00

want to help some girls get some boobies for christmas? can't you just picture it...a big present under the tree and inside...jiggly implants! "it's just what i wanted daddy!"honestly, i feel bad that they took these close-up boob shots (well some of them who are not as endowed)...b/c it's quite awkward and kind of american apparel-esque.

hint hint

2007-12-14T15:16:00.000-06:00

American Apparel, known for their junkie/hipster/homeless looking models, are always trying to throw in a hint of sex, a dash of trash and a dollop of dirt into everything they do - online or in mags. i was shopping online on AA's site, minding my own business, looking for winter tights. i hit the close-up button on one of the tights to see what the pattern was and holy mother of typical, what pops up?

oh, just this crotch, wearing the tights i was going to buy.
mmm, pea soup.

Ahhh-MAZING

2007-12-14T15:10:00.000-06:00

the new "your mom/MILF" shirt:

it's just like, it's just like...scariest eyes i have ever seen

2007-12-14T15:04:00.000-06:00

HEY HEY!

i saw a local chicago commercial featuring this guy, for Walter E. Smithe, and i was so confused why they used him. now come to find out, this guy coined the "it's just like, it's just like a mini mall! hey hey!" phrase and was on Ellen. this is something i expect from Detroit local ads, not Chicago. Mel Far to the rescue, Mel Far to the res-es-cue!

"momma's baaack!" celine on TODAY part 2

2007-12-12T16:51:00.000-06:00

fast forward to 1:10....and enjoy (note: see previous post below). just can't get enough of this...

"might as well call them Burger Queen now..."

2007-12-12T16:46:00.000-06:00

of all the what-ifs in the world, Americana takes this one pretty hard. they want their fast food and they want it now...

i am the greatest singer in the WORLD! (and air guitarist over 40)

2007-11-15T15:50:00.000-06:00

fast forward to :16 second left...for the air guitar and kick. please note: there is no band behind Celine, there is just a shitty backing track (might as well just put a tape player next to her and plugged her mic into it like karaoke). god bless the singer phenom that is Celine - she can sing peeps, but she's a lil nuts, a lil cheesy. if you watched the Today show yesterday (before her performance), she was out on the plaza with Matt, Meredith and Al and they were asking her about how she transitioned from her 5-year long run in Vegas to recording her new album and now going on tour - and her response was sung and this is what she sang: "OOOOH, MAMA'S BACK!" and then she proceeded to jump and swing her arms almost hitting Matt. priceless.

I might make grammatical errors every now and then...

2007-11-02T14:10:00.001-05:00

heading back to E.L. for the MICHIGAN/MICHIGAN STATE game...a big game for us, although some UofM fans have referred to this game as a "bigger rivalry for MSU than it is for them," apparently they have bigger fish to fry like OSU...which they'll lose to again this year. i love when the game is at MSU...because the UM'ers actually get a chance to see what a real college experience is like, if they do choose to visit the banks of the red cedar. although a lot of UM fans won't brave the trip to E.L. because for them it's like "slumming it," right? RIGHT? haha. MSU is not a place for lame partiers with weak stomachs.

i'm looking forward to going back to State, my home for 4 years and the only place in Michigan where partying is an art. i am going to be training my UM boyf, because frankly he'll need some help from me this weekend if he's going to survive...

TAILGATE: some of you reading this that might have gone to UM (or are just UM fans who never went there and own a Wolverines Starter jacket) have no clue what this term really means. i'm sure you're a little confused, so let me clarify:

here are the rules and guidelines to TAILGATE at MSU:
1. no matter what time the game starts (12pm, 3:30pm, 7pm) we always start EARLY. and EARLY means, get yourself out of bed (earlier than you would if you actually went to class) and throw on some green & white and grab a case or a fifth, some beer coozies, tennies & jeans...it's gonna be a long day. 8am is usually how we get it started, ripping shots on the tennis courts or bonging a beer on campus...since drinking is free game once you enter the campus, open containers are welcome all over the place (once we did some beer bongs in the Comm building)
2. hit a few spots during tailgate, you've got time if you start early, as many do. the tennis courts are where the alum usually go, but some frosh find their way over there since there are dorms right across the street (Wilson, Wonders, Case, Holden). my suggestion: on your way to campus hit up a frat party for free booze, rip a shot, shot-gun a beer. next go to the courts and spend most of your time drinking, playing flip cup and cornhole. keep an eye out for ridiculousness, it sometimes feels like you're watching the greatest college movie of all time. top off your tailgate with a stop at "the rock" the undergrad hot spot (mainly frats and sororities, but there is a DJ there and you might see a couch thrown in the air)
3. don't pick a fancy drink. you've got to drink all day, i mean alllll day - your breakfast is alcohol, your lunch is alcohol with a side of tailgate food and then you need to pony-up and head to the bars afterwards and later that night as well. so take it from me, Kahlua and milk for 5 hours is not a good idea (or finding out you're lactose intolerant in between drinks 5&6). be safe, drink beer, maybe some liquor (usually just shots) - beer will keep you on top of your drunk ass game all day long.
4. MSU football is not about going to the game. we tailgate and we tailgate hard. if you don't make it to the game people won't make fun of you, this also opens up a lot of student tickets for sale between 10 minutes before game and halftime (if you want to go to the game)...if you head to "the rock" and find the drunk ones who are wavering, see if they want to sell their student section ticket. although the UM/MSU game tics might be going for more, if you find a drunk enough student the ticket will be close to free.
5. if you do go to the game, it's all about having fun in the student section. it's a good time (i had season tickets all 3 years) and whether we win or lose, we still know we have way more fun than any other school...

with all of that being said...i would love a STATE victory tomorrow, it would be an awesome way to add to your good season and a great way to add to UofM's Appalachian State wound. OUCH!

GAME ON! oh...and SPARTY ON! (it was once shouted out at a wedding i went to this summer and although i have heard it many times before, this "time & place" setting for the term was quite hilarious)

articles on the big game:
The State News: MSU benefits outweigh U-M arrogance
A Michigan Daily writer in The State News: Rivalry game? MSU vs. U-M football isn't
(my favorite quote from this one in response to the MSU hate mail he received last year: "Most of the messages were pretty heated, some had threats tied in and a couple (OK, nearly all) had glaring grammatical errors. Was I upset? Hardly. To be honest, I was pretty excited to learn that Moo U had at least 147 quasi-literate students."
Detroit News - More than a game: 100 years of the Michigan-Michigan State rivalry
Detroit Free Press - Running to glory? Ringer looks to make amends for missing last year's game

BONUS: now that the football season is half way over - i had to post a little about State B-ball. everyone knows that Spartans are more excited about the basketball season, we like football, but our faith has always been in the basketball team. the AP/ESPN/USA Today has ranked State as #8 this year!! ranked just above Indiana, the only 2 Big Ten teams ranked pre-season.
read more at ESPN.com

Izzo, a god.

Star's not worth $30,000 for 1 1/2 hours

2007-11-02T13:46:00.000-05:00

Star Jones is now not welcome in the D! they hate her, she failed to show up for event that cost a women's fitness group Full and Fabulous $30,000 to have her speak for 1 1/2 hours, and she never showed, but did accept their gift of an airfare for her and Big Gay Al and a 5-star hotel. apparently Star upgraded her and Al's flight to first class using the owner of Full and Fabulous' debit card without permission. this is just another chapter in her life of shameless self promotion. she is like a machine - first she uses her weight as a way to get press coverage in lieu of her gastric bypass surgery (which she still denies until this day), then she uses her fandom on the View to promote her wedding, offering a "fan" gift registry - not only did she get gifts from people less fortunate than her, but she pretty much had her entire wedding comped in exchange for press coverage and sponsors (can you imagine the speech at your wedding to your husband complete with subliminal advertising "without Dan and our sponsors from Harry Winston, this wedding would have not been possible.") and to top it off, she just had her 40th birthday party, where she invited 40 of her close friends to the Bahamas and it was an all expense paid trip for all of them and her of course in exchange for sponsors. SHAMELESS HO!remember when she was this size??

she is NO longer a role model to the 'Full & Fabulous' although those that try to do anything to get their name all over anything and get a free pass, A.K.A "America's Guest" have found a true hero in Star.

check out the story - written article & new story with a Star interview HERE

ring around the stripper pole

2007-10-31T11:14:00.000-05:00

britney's album is out and it's fittingly titled "BLACKOUT." hahhaha, i'm just cracking up about that and also, how horrible the vid is. MTV does show videos in the AM...i flip from Matt Lauer to music vids in the morning and what popped up? "GIMMIE MORE." ug.

now that you've seen this horrendous music video highlighting the life of a stripper and alcoholic (b/c this song is all about stripping and drinking, i.e. Britney's life for the last couple years) you can understand why shitney is not making a comeback. is anyone with me? there are still people waiting around. does anyone realize that this video is a dance routine (shitty, i may add) based around a stripper pole? i heard that after the shooting of this video Brit went to LAX and Auer, showed her who-who, made-out with Tony Romo and Chris Angel and then blacked out.

blow-a-ween - NSFW

2007-10-31T10:55:00.000-05:00

gossip rules our world. well celeb gossip mainly. so i had to dedicate my costume to the growing trend in hollywood...and really the world. since it's hip to go to rehab (in and out and in and out) this year i decided to be Blowhan and my boyfriend was cocaine. pretty sweet right?
complete with "happy dust," mirrors, peace signs and "bricks" we were set for one night of being blown out of our minds, Lohan-style! we went to a barn party 1 hour out of the city, complete with a bonfire and s'mores and a live band! it was a good time...but i think most people really thought i was f'ed up and that my boyfriend "cocaine" really had some dama blanca for them. it was a good time!
(note: these costumes were not for the kids or the gullible)

moving onto corporate halloween...
most Initechs, ad agencies, CareerBuilders, banks, whathaveyous are celebrating Halloween today. my genius corporation decided to have the h-ween party yesterday (no one is in the spirit on Oct. 30th, come on) and it was lame-O. first (corporate) party fowl: hardly anyone dressed up and those that did were...wait for it, wait for it...
1. dick in a box (complete with mini cassette player and lip sync rendition that sucked)
2. dolly parton with a fake cleave that looked like 2 potato pillows
(one that i have to mention that was funny was Suri Cruise - she had the haircut, a jumper and a Scientology bear and necklace--although she was missing an alien head and creepy parents)
the pumpkin pie eating contest was disgusting. it looked like pumpkin pie spew all over the place. a group of us decided to grab as many brews and candy and have our own party (and make fun of co-workers) in someone's office. i love corporate halloween!

suzanne somers and paula abdul are not on this one...

2007-10-25T15:20:00.000-05:00

a new shopping network...for the hipsters! american apparel freaks, eat your heart out or shed your honey...

Honeyshed

bitter hard candy

2007-10-16T16:20:00.001-05:00

Daily Candy is pissed y'all, real pissed at the Vaughn. He's a local fav here...always around at dive bars, hanging in the Viagra triangle in his red plaid button down, or chillin at his River North townhouse on Superior.

DC is the kitchsy daily email (choose to receive it from your city or from everywhere) that announces restaurant openings, store openings, new trends, travel destinations and deals and many many more trendy happenings, wa wa wa wee wa. sometimes they have nothing to write (like in the weekend editions) and will put:

SEE: the beach (because it's warm again this weekend)
HEAR: the screams on Lincoln avenue on Saturday afternoon (because it's college football season)
DO: put your flip flops away (don't embarass yourself ho! it's ugg season)

ok..that wasn't a real DC email but it was damn close to it! when they have nothing to write...they kinda get pissy...read the email I got today about the big VV...

October 16, 2007

Since You Been Vaughn
DailyCandy Doesn’t Talk to Vince Vaugh

Dear Vince,

We forgive you for not answering our calls about an interview. Big boys and big shots — you get busy.

And since you’re not here to answer our first question, Why did you skip out of L.A. to park it in Chi-town, hotlegs?, we’ll just have to assume that it was for the extra-long pants at Guise. Or maybe so you could try all 75 brewskies at The Bluebird (1749 N. Damen Ave.; 773-486-2473). We know how you like to knock one back.

It must be hard to find the time between treatments at Halo (does somebody need a good back waxing?) and nightcaps at Crimson Lounge for impromptu chats with (totally awesome) writers. Dido found time to talk about London, but she’s a singer, not a swinger.

And did we ever miss talking to you, you tall drink of water. But we get it. We’d rather motorboat with trixies at Climax Lounge, too.

You’re a beautiful baby anyway.

Smooches,

DailyCandy

ok now i have to laugh...because VV really cares about Daily Candy right? i mean, it's for the brauds and Vince is truly a man's man and might be too busy to get interviewed for some women's daily email blast. i love how DC shout out all the spots that Vince might be at...he JUST might be there, so swoon ladies and get there! are you dying over the "SINCE YOU'VE BEEN VAUGHN" clever title??
me: DC, you are just way too much!
DC: STOP!
me: No, you STOP!

pelt bagels, wear girbauds

2007-10-12T15:23:00.000-05:00

nothing to do this weekend? well in case you forgot it's Mario Lopez's birthday. check it:what? homeboy can't have a party with his own friends...he's got to invite the whole city to celebrate with him? i'm going to put on my tightest girbauds, a side pony, reebok hightops and this t-shirt:

in your free time, why not hunt down Ann Coulter and pelt some bagels at her? spread some moldy cream cheese on them, slather them with lox and capers and just pelt that bitch! that's right...do it. oh and get it on tape:
we wouldn't have Christianity if it wasn't for Judaism...this bitch is crazy and dumb! hit her with a bagel already...

have a good weekend!

your grandma's twin brother is performing

2007-10-12T15:04:00.001-05:00

yea..that's the exact words that came out of my mouth when "Chili" from Detroit (even from the right city) came out to perform his/her lip syncing number.

"Is that Ilene up there? You're Grandma?"
i went last Friday for a birthday, but no this was not my first time at the Baton Show Club (i hosted my good friend's bach party there). since i had already been to the other drag queen show in the city Kit Kat Lounge, i had something to compare Baton to, and Baton was far better. they had numerous queens - a Beyonce look alike from Hawaii,Chili from Detroit (of course), Christina Aquilera's mother with red hair, a Whitney Houston (more like Juwanna Man/Wilt Chamberlain's sister), a BIG naughty "momma," and one that was hot, that i am still questioning if she was a woman or not, who had blond hair, a good body and a mixed look between Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson - the boys loved her/him. the show was about 2 hours long with some comedic input in between by big momma. big momma told one of the girls at our table that her boyfriend's boobs were bigger than hers. that went over well. she didn't hoot the rest of the show. my boyfriend and i tipped the queens almost every song - from Amy Winehouse renditions to "You Gotta Lick It Before We Kick It" - a 90s raunch hit. it seemed like people were either starting to get tired at our table (the wild drunks from our birthday celebration were starting to quiet down) or they were just so baffled by the performances and what was really under their party dresses. i had a good time and this time i was able to meet Ryan's grandma's twin brother/sister.

get your creep on!

2007-10-09T13:52:00.000-05:00

[creepy video of the day]

highlights:
"easy now funny little peach man"
"motha licka"
"the downstairs mixup"
"ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?"

Blame Al Gore!

2007-10-08T14:45:00.000-05:00

this past weekend was a record heat wave for chicago. it's October people, but Al Gore knew better! Global Warming or has Chicago moved closer to the equator overnight?

Al Gore is the cause of the heat in Chicago, he read 'The Secret' and kept saying over and over again "Global Warming is real. Global Warming is real" (and if you believe it and want something, it will happen - according to 'The Secret').

ok..so now that I got that out of the way - the weekend was full of hot, sweatiness, distraught Cubs' fan (what's new?), backed up mass transit, blocked off streets and hot and thirsty marathon runners. i was in Wrigleyville on Saturday, by default, considering I am NOT a Cubs fan and laugh every time the fans think this year (once again) is the Cubs year. mind you, the 45 games the Cubs won this year were to easy teams and the 90 games the D'Backs won this year were to hard teams. but there I was in Wrig'ville (had made my way down there after watching MSU lose to Northwestern at O'Malley's in LP), and Cubs fans were sweating and praying for a win, just 1 win...but after D'back hit a homerun from the 1st pitch...troubs was brewing.

onto Sunday...the Chicago Marathon day. wa wa wa wee wa...it was so hard to get around the city just to go watch the marathon! i got up at 7am to head down to LP to watch my courageous bud KRISTY POLLINA run the 'thon and it took me over an hour just to get down there - let's not discuss the cab driver I had who did not know his way around the city and could hardly understand me when I was trying to give him tips on back roads, other routes...so I missed Kristy at the LP landmark...and then made the trek down to the finish line in Grant Park. what a zoo it was. and just to get to the spectator spot to watch the runners finish, was a 2 mile walk in a long and winding maze. did i mention that it was hot yesterday? my forehead is proof of that - it's redder than an Irishman's face 3 hours into happy hour on a Tuesday. i missed Kristy finish too! as i was standing (or tanning) at the finish line for 2 hours waiting to yell "GO PO GO!" to no avail. getting home was another story...took me an hour, and the funny thing is, I LIVE DOWNTOWN...and um the race was DOWNTOWN. that's what I get for trying to run around the city on 'thon day...in 88 degree weather, 86% humidity. whoa is NOT me, whoa is all of the runners including KRISTY POLLINA who finished the 26.2 mile run in sweltering heat. cheers to you! do you know the origination of the marathon? the reason it is 26.2 miles is said to be the legend of Pheidippides, a Greek soldier from the town of Marathon was sent to deliver the message to Athens that the Persians had been defeated in the Battle of Marathon. he apparently ran 26.2 miles straight into the senate screaming "Masters! Victory is ours!" before dropping dead on the spot, dying from exhaustion.
(check out the facts on wikipedia)

lots of controversy surrounds the 'thon right now. not enough water and gatorade ("naturally, we called it gator-ade") at the stations, but the fact that the city closed down the 'thon at 12 and diverted runners to another route and urged them to walk the rest of the way. i was on the train with a few runners who were not happy about this - after training for 5 months, "getting up at 5am every Sunday to do a run," they should have been allowed to finish (they made it to mile 19 and were told to stop running). while at the finish line, they announced that "due to excessive heat, the marathon is canceled and is now a fun run." fun run...woohoo, i think i saw about 50 people 100 meters before the finish do kart wheels, because now the run was FUN! that pissed people off too. thankfully many still finished considering the conditions. but sadly, one man died. everyone thought it was because of the heat, but actually he died of a heart failure. a 35 year old policeman from Michigan. too young, so sad. over 250 people were hospitalized for heat exhaustion and 25 are still in the hospital today. i wish them all well, although when you run a marathon you run the risk of all of these things - every ailment from running 26 miles that could occur...and it's not unusual for someone to die at a marathon, it happens very often.

the women's race for 1st was actually a good one - check out this highlight:

if i had anger problems, i might have done this too...

2007-09-19T09:53:00.000-05:00

remember the post i did a while back about "woo'ers?" oh yea..the "woo'ers" the ones that have to woo all over themselves and everyone else in spin class, step class, chisel class, whathaveyou class. the ones on wheel of fortune that just miss the bankruptcy tile and then guess "is there a w?" how about the "woo'ers" who hear bon jovi 'livin' on a prayer' for the umpteenth time in their favorite dive bar, but still get excited and woo all over the place?

ok...i digress. the pressing matter this morning is the article a friend of mine found on a man who had "SPIN RAGE" - well the man, a trader (so much energy, so much rage about numbers and money!!), acted on all of the "woo'ing" that was getting to him, and got off of his bike picked up the "woo'ers'" bike and proceeded to throw him with the bike into the wall. then "woo'er" got back on his bike to ride again (it's that addicting people!!) but had to stop because he felt injured (oh...maybe a lil) and then called 911 to have them take him off in a stretcher.

what would you do during that spin class? would you just keep spinning and go with it? treat it as side action to keep you pumped up? did the instructor do anything? it was equinox in NYC...where "celebrities and wealthy business men" (traders and investment bankers, right?) workout...i'm sure everyone just let it happen...you get pissy in NY when the city smells bad, the trains are packed and then you get to go home to a 5x5 apartment. sounds like bliss to me.

read this article for the full scoop on the "spin rage" at equinox

it's chrissy bitches!

2007-09-18T15:15:00.000-05:00

it's the chris crocker revolution and it all started with this...

and then this...

and then this one...it's for britney...

is it Michael Jackson, Andy Dick, Teri Hatcher and Carson Kressly all in one body? i've never been more confused and intrigued by a person. obsessed fans...i get it, kinda. still obsessed with britney though? he must be the only one left...

it's just MTV not the Grammy's...

2007-09-12T10:40:00.000-05:00

Kanyeezy was a little tiffed the other night when he didn't win a single award after 5 nominations, at the VMAs. i mean, come on Kanye, it was the MTV VMAs...no one cares about those damn moon men. (see below, an exclusive bad video (good audio though) catching Kanye's backstage break down)

muuuuuu-HAHAHAHA

2007-09-11T12:14:00.000-05:00

is all i have to say to Britney fans, especially those that thought she was going to make a come back. talk about continuing the downward spiral. i wish the cameras at the VMAs would have spanned the crowd a little more to get the REAL reactions from the celebs watching her make a fool of herself and perform as if robotic and unamused with little or no energy, going through the motions jiggling her post baby stomach about. was she on anti-depressants? yes, pretty sure she was. was she on drugs? alcohol? a mixture of PCP, acapulco gold and acid? um, that's a positive.

i am going to keep laughing as the trailer trash keeps living out her trailer trash life in the public eye. it's a great reality show on trailer life, y'all!

look for more: rollers in her hair while doing errands. tator tot & small fry running wild in department stores and gucci, fendi, kitson & starbucks y'all! a few more "hair" incidents." some more exclusive "hot new Britney Spears" leaks that suck suck suck. K-Fed winning the custody battle and then raising the lil ones in a gold & platinum plated trailer. Britney hanging out with Andrew Dice Clay, Carrot Top, the 5th Baldwin brother, Tootie from Facts of Life and Webster at Area, the Roosevelt and Marquee.

it's Britney, BITCHESSSSSSSS

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

how gum has anything to do with water skiing, we will never know...

2007-08-29T15:37:00.000-05:00

gettin' those skis shined up and heading to Traverse City, Michigan this weekend for some Up North-last weekend of the summer-water skiing-cherry picking-wine tasting-boating-bonanza.

see ya next week and you better not be wearing WHITE PANTS! heed to the rules.

i think JUSTIN BOBBY should date Miss South Carolina

2007-08-28T15:04:00.000-05:00

i know i'm one week late on the JB thing...but it still lives on like leggings.

"i think JUSTIN BOBBY took your ticket."

"truth....and time...tells all."

"here's to truth and time."

so classic.

so don't you think that South Carolina and JB would be a good match? they both have trouble getting words out of their mouths...(for example....see below)

pee pee in the pot-tay!

2007-08-24T11:40:00.000-05:00

+= oh hell yea!

in this toilet? man would that be cool for this guy whose been waiting all of his life for Britney Spears to pee or poop in his coveted restaurant's bathroom. as he stands there, next to the toilet that the Shitney Spears may have left some waste in, he beams in all of his glory...for this is his moment, he's been waiting all of his life "for a moment like this," (thanks Kelly Clarkston). this is such a tabloid shit-storm of "who really cares, man you have no life" THANKS IN-TOUCH, you really are IN-TOUCH with bodily functions of celebs.
[source: IN TOUCH]

what if they said, "eating a sandwich is so easy, even Lohan during a coke binge could do it"

2007-08-24T11:24:00.000-05:00

crusin' down the street in my sea-bring...

we jus' don't give a FUCK! so easy a caveman can drive a sea-bring, that's right bitches.

dissect TITC (of course it sounds inappropriate)

2007-08-24T11:16:00.000-05:00

Trapped in the Closet (TITC, tit-c) has a FAN WIKI, so now you can figure out who "done it" "done wrong" and "gon' on and done did it" in each chapter. without this thing how the hell would we know who was banging the midget, friends with the cop, and really trapped in the closet, fo' real?

add comments, tell everyone what you've learned after each chapter (ex: "I've learned that if you're trapped in the closet, put your phone on vibrate, FOOL!") and understand the family tree or gang bang train, if you will.

click in the name of TITC

you can do a lot of things in 82 minutes

2007-08-24T10:59:00.000-05:00

like become someone's bitch or LUDOP (lesbian until date of parole - prison term i learned from Kathy Griffen, My Life on the D-List). i wonder what was accomplished when Nicole Richie entered her 90 hour sentence to only serve 82 minutes of it...damn girl, you've got the hook-up with the correctional facility, maybe Lohan could pick up a few tips from you. (apparently the boring truth is that the facilities were too crowded for Richie, but no one cares about that, 82 minutes in jail is what the headlines focus on)

if you're keeping score:
Richie - 1
Par-Ho - negative 4 (she's too dumb to figure out how to get a sentence reduced)(Paris: "wait, what? how do you make a peace sign again?")

CNN reported her sentencing...
BBC reported her duration in jail...

i'm not going to use that 'Office Space' quote but...

2007-08-20T16:04:00.000-05:00

it's MONDAY...and work sucks. WAAAAAAAAH
ode to work-life:

it's 8:57am, and i might begin my 7 minute walk to work...if i feel like getting there semi-on-time
i get excited to eat in the caf - since the fruit is always fresh, the yogurt bar is quite convenient and the coffee never runs out (not to mention it's not folgers, it's 'bucks) and that's my motivation to get there
i know that once i get to my desk, IM-Gchat-facebook-friendster-myspace-gmail-hotmail-perez await me
when the website checking runs out, i sit and wait for "duties"
oh look, it's just about lunchtime
where should we go today?
cosi-panera-corner bakery-potbelly-chipolte-soup box-your mom's?
hey, i've got an idea - let's make it a 2 hour lunch
sweet.
3 more hours to go - let's do the website check again.
facebook-friendster-myspace-gmail-hotmail-gawker-perez-zappos
want to get a snack?
looky it's 4:51, time to turn the computer down since it's full of MP3s and JPEGs it will take about 7 minutes
peace out work, see you at 9:12 tomorrow.
word life is unreal.

and i'm making more chapters, more chapters, more chapters

2007-08-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

in the name of golden showers, pre-teens, midgets and the Rrr'a - TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET is back...well it debuted on IFC.com Monday, Chapters 13-22, too a sort of poor opening. we have not had enough of this hip-hopera have we? i saw it live (chapters 1-12) and let me tell you, as horrible as the lyrics are and as ridiculous as the plot lines are, it takes a real performer to get through all of that dialogs ALONE...of course, the Rrr'a didn't want anyone else stealing his thunder, so he had to play all of the parts - i mean, really the only one capable of that is Eddie Murphy, and Mike Myers pulled it off in Austin Powers and So, I Married an Axe Murderer.

enjoy the re-cap of chapters 1-12 (above) as R. takes you on a trip down memory lane "through Chi-town, Chi-town, Chi-town"
note: he always repeats his last line before the chorus in 3's and the last one kind of trails offfff...it's remarkable, really. (ex: "and she was tossing my salad, my salad, my salaaad" -'sex in the kitchen' from the chocolate factory album)

for more hip-hopera by the master of "i had no idea she was 12" click here
[source: IFC.com]

oh sweet jesus

2007-08-10T14:54:00.000-05:00

go back to schooooool already

2007-08-10T11:58:00.001-05:00

awwww...interns. those sweet little babies. can't wait to get back to college so they can do a whole lot of nothing, nap and then drink. my office is flooded with them ("advertising helps me decide"), and really they complain about the hours - "9am is sooooo early, like OMFG, LOL!" my cube neighbors, max and ...? are tandemly out of control. asking dumb excel questions and where to get advil. plus, i get to hear max, the smooth intern operator, have phone sex with all of the "cute lil intern girls" - they're only just an extension away, it's almost like texting, but using words. soooooooooo sweeeeeet.

and today - i've got one idiotica who came to visit "the cool intern guys" next to me - (2 in one cube, sooo cute!) and here is her story for the day:
"OMG, don't talk about alcohol! my team killed me last night."
"oh really?"
"i was sooooooooo drunk. do you mind me sitting in your chair?"
"yea he minds, but won't tell you! J/K!"
"OMG, do you guys like have any work to do?"
----and then i just turned my itunes up and tried to block it out. are they getting the hint that i am annoyed? yes, i have work to do, like trying to find new songs on music blogs and such. geez, i need some peace over here...the cube wall is apparently NOT high enough!

go back to schooooooooool you hos!
interns are like pit stains...you know they're coming (for the summer, year after year), and you can't stop them, not unless you brought an extra shirt along with you.

i was OMG, TTYL - but then she was like LOL

2007-08-09T16:14:00.000-05:00

my lolla run-down, it was like OM-F'in-G, WTF!

rodrigo y gabriela - mexican guitar duo, all instrumental, oooh so good even though the words are missing
snow patrol - you've probably already heard of them, "if i lay here...blah blah blah" but their old stuff is amazeeeee and they were great live
M.I.A - great live, even though she lost her voice half-way through. dut dut dut on your mobile phone!
peter bjorn & john - good show for the 30 minutes they played - the power went out for a while, technical difficulties maaaaan, go ahead, whistle to yourself until the song comes on again...
pete yorn - not to be confused with PB&J, he was awesome live for a one-man-show and looks like one of the royal tenenbaums
the rapture - i likeeeee, 80s rock with a punch of 'the sounds' sound
blonde redhead - caught the tailend of the show, but what i heard i liked. think girl with great voice and a couple of 40 yr old hippies playing in the background

bad live shows & disappointments:

wino - amy winehouse - low energy...WTF i was like OMG. saw her once before in a smaller venue and enjoyed it, but i think she should perform some more covers if her original shit is so jazz clubby...(should have gone to see lupe fiasco instead, damn)

modest mouse - i really like them and thought the show would be hype, but man was it like a smoke sess with music in the background playing that happened to be singing "...and we'll all float on, OK!" and after that song, people left to make it to Pearl Jam...which also was...

A BUST! - the headliner, Pearl Jam talked more about BP and the war than threw down. also, the show wasn't loud enough and all i could hear was some drunk PJ-4-LIFE fans rendition of every single song they sang. it was hard to hear Eddie's voice through the drunken yellow ledbetter slurs. they could have sang all of their songs, instead they wasted time singing and preaching about anti-war, BP, Bush, loveessssssss it, OMG, TTYL EDDIE VEDDER!
lolla '07 over...better lineup next year Perry?

not at lolla, but should have been:

and the reason i am writing in all IM catch phrases is b/c after watching MTV for maybe about 30 minutes last night (yes, i was watching all the Hills hype), i got attached to this new band that was playing inbetween the show - TEAM FACELIFT <--(click for their official site) they're hilarious, white rappers with NO shame! love it and love their song - "i wanna have your baby"(really called "no love") watch the vid here besides rapping during the hills promos, they also did a few hills commercials. wish i could get a hold of them on youtube, but no one has posted yet. here's the jist of it (as most MTV promos for their shows or station, this is a must-see):
"So who do you think has more drama? Heidi and Spencer or Heidi and Lauren?"
"Well I talked to Lauren and I was like, OMG, and she was like TTYL, but really I was like LOL."

talk in IM catch phrases, it's insane.

and my obsession right now - CSS (cansei de ser sexy), the brazilian pop band that was suppose to be at lolla but had airline issues. go to their myspace to check out their songs - or their official website
(be sure to listen to: "music is my hot, hot sex")

get your dancin' boots on

2007-08-02T12:39:00.000-05:00

lolla is tomorrow - the weekend is going to be a long one...i plan on going 3 days. there are some tips that i learned from last year that could help all you fes' goers this year:

1. pick a main stage for the day - don't even try to get between the AT&T and Bud Light stages (both at opposites ends of the park/venue). the walk alone is probably 20-40 minutes depending on the way the crowd is moving. we camped out at one stage the entire weekend, making trips to other stages in-between the big acts on the main stage we were at. those that tried to venture to the other side between a break from one headliner at the main stage to the next, basically would be gone for over 2 hours just trying to get there and back and we would say "later dude. hopefully you can find us and get back here, but good luck." pick a main stage and settle down there.

2. try to sneak alcohol in. mix it in with your bottled waters. be gutsy, you don't have too much to lose. we brought in sangria one day and everyone around us was in awe. one day we got busted, so i suggest hiding the alcohol in your cleave, ladies and in your pants by your package, guys - that way, you can spend money on mixers and not the pricey frou frou liquor drinks and beers.

3. get ready to sweat like you've never sweat before. plus, it's august.

4. plan your outfit according to what a phish head would wear. how much tie dye you wear is your prerogative Bobbi Brown, but don't try to get all hipster and gussied up for a 3-day concert. wife beater and shorts will do - that way you can sit anyway you want and sit on anything you want without worrying if people can see your hoo-ha and what just got stuck on your new white high-waisted hot shorts. your feet will get nasty, wear flip flops or old tennies.

5. come in with friends, don't try and meet them there. that's a mistake, period. there are millions of people, oh and did I mention, this concert CANNOT sell out!

6. get to the headliner, Pearl Jam, 1 hour to 30 minutes prior to get a good spot - it's the last act and no one is playing at the same as them, so the entire lolla population makes their way over there. if there is a band playing right before them, leave that show early...or stand behind thousands during the Pearl Jam show.

(show round-up coming after the weekend...)

jack 'em up until you can't feel your crotch

2007-08-02T11:53:00.000-05:00

those looks like mom-jeans, but look again, they're actually in-style now. yeaaaaa! (look below at the more attractive people wearing the new style, well minus Mischa Barton)
slap these things on a celeb and you've got insta-trend. it makes the foupa fashionable. wa wa wee wa.
are high-waisted pants, shorts and skirts this season's answer to the "drinking shirt"/pregnant shirt/jumper! (weeee)/dress that would fit a 7 yr. old, but is a shirt for a 20-something chick? have we found a new way to cover up our bellies after a long night or day of drinking, eating, binge drinking, and late night eating? i must say, women feel bloated a lot more than men...is it the P or is it the salty foods or is it our intolerance for putting anything more than water and coffee in our bodies? guys usually don't need these cover-ups or S.O.F.A.s (sweater over fat ass) or S.O.B.B.s (shirt over bloated belly) - but fashion designers are finding a new way - say hello to high waisted designs and goodbye to foupa free time. those foupas are not going anywhere in these almost-camel-toe-creating-innovations."check me out, i'm covering up my foupa although i might develop a camel toe as these high-waisted hot shorts ride up."

go on and fetch mommy's lollipops

2007-08-01T16:56:00.000-05:00

in more shocking Britney news US weekly reports:

that Spears’ friends and family have become concerned about the pop star’s mothering skills.

Case in point: The tooth fairy may be making early visits to 22-month-old Sean. “He’s having dental problems because Britney just shoves a bottle of juice in his mouth all the time to stop him from crying,” a family insider tells Us.

Another source says that, in April, Spears “asked an L.A. dentist if he would whiten her kid’s teeth!” The dentist refused.

Life & Style and Perez are reporting probably the best quote i've heard in a while from the Trashtastic machine:
Even worse, when Brit misplaces her pack of cigarettes, “she’ll actually turn to Sean and say, ‘Baby, where are Mama’s lollipops?’ Sean runs, gets her cigarettes and brings them back to her.”

are we just watching a white trash reality show unfolding before our eyes? well hells yes we are, it's like a car crash, you have to slow down to check it out. as for the respect meter, i haven't seen it since the "Oops I did it again" days. sometimes i can't tell if the media has manipulated these pictures, videos and stories about her - but then i realize that she's capable of anything and before we know it, those kids will be in K Fed's hands and she'll be signing up with Lou Pearlman and joining in on his pyramid scheme too.

freak gasoline accidents! happy friday!

2007-07-27T15:49:00.000-05:00

the gayken does springfield

2007-07-27T12:33:00.001-05:00

(i created this simpsons avatar on thesimpsonsmovie.com) SIMPSONS opens tonight!!!

and now you just pissed off all the BIG italians in chicago

2007-07-27T10:41:00.000-05:00

i'm not going to say i've never been there...it was a pretty bumpin' place for a while, but i had a feeling the charity was bunk for a while and so were the "investments." read about the chicago bar scandal that is unraveling before the club goers eyes...

Feds getting hip to Chicago club scene

John Kass

July 27, 2007

A battle for control of Chicago's hottest nightclubs -- Reserve and Crescendo -- playing out in federal court is drawing the attention of the U.S. attorney's office.

No, U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald isn't spending $2,000 for bottle service and VIP treatment at top clubs like Reserve or its rival, RiNo. He doesn't roll that way.

And I don't think Fitzgerald will drop in at Tavern on Rush, the alpha and omega of the Chicago way, to chat about the Chicago bar scene with guys named Marty and Jimmy and Freddie and Tommy and Uncle Amrish.

Instead, the U.S. attorney's office is receiving court documents about the nightclubs from the federal Commodity Futures Trading Commission in a tsunami of a case.

Anthony Demasi, 32, a lawyer from Michigan, arrived in Chicago six years ago to found his investment company, Tsunami Capital. According to sources who've known Demasi for years, he wasn't satisfied with being a capitalist titan. He wanted to get into the nightclub business, despite not knowing beans about it.

Yet this neophyte, then in his 20s, somehow got his city liquor license and City Hall building and occupancy permits without a hitch, and opened the hottest nightclub in the city.

You've heard of Operation Family Secrets, the big Outfit case? Some day, this one might be called Operation In Da Club. No criminal charges have been filed. But after reviewing court documents, and interviewing sources close to Demasi about his rise from obscure tax lawyer to nightclub king, I've got a feeling.

Reserve, his club at 858 W. Lake St., was a smashing success. The club was jammed every night with high rollers, and offered Rolls-Royce service for a $2,500 VIP membership, top DJs flown in from Los Angeles and fancy bottle service. Here's how the bottle service works:

At Reserve, or other clubs, you could spend about $300 for a cheap bottle of Johnnie Walker Black, normally about $30 on the shelf at your local liquor store. But at your local liquor store, beautiful young women won't ask you what you drive.

Bottle service required state legislation the Chicago way. The bill was passed by political heavyweights, including state Sen. President Emil Jones (D-ComEd), who, according to some Downstate political experts never takes orders from state Sen. Jimmy DeLeo (D-How you Doin'?).

On the House side, the bottle service bill was sponsored by DeLeo's buddy, State Rep. Angelo "Skip" Saviano (R-DeLeo), and it was signed in February by Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

At Reserve, it was all show, the waitress bringing ice and glasses and mixers, though usually it was champagne, $750 per bottle of Cristal, $900 for Dom, allowing 30-year-old traders to impress 22-year-old blonds they might want to have meaningful conversations with over breakfast. Or not.

Demasi thrived as a player. But as he tried to open his second club, Crescendo, with a 4 a.m. liquor license he got from restaurateur Phil Stefani, Demasi ran into problems.

One was that his 4 a.m. license put him in direct competition with RiNo, a popular club run by Michael Kaulentis, the son of influential commodities trader James Kaulentis. A feud began.

In April, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission sued Tsunami and Demasi for fraudulently soliciting more than $300,000 from Tsunami investors. On April 26, U.S. District Judge Robert Gettleman froze all Tsunami and Demasi assets, including the clubs. Creditors claiming they lost millions besieged Demasi.

Crescendo was about to open, yet building contractors demanded payment and Demasi didn't have the cash. He got some through Joe Cacciatore of Lakeside Bank, according to court records.

Lakeside is the same bank that had mayoral friend and trucking boss Fred Bruno Barbara as an investor. Lakeside chairman Victor Cacciatore was recently and repeatedly mentioned in the Family Secrets trial as a victim of Outfit extortion.

According to recent court documents, a loan was engineered by Joe Cacciatore even though Gettleman already had frozen the Demasi/Tsunami assets. Demasi received that $280,000 emergency loan, using his frozen assets as collateral that required him to pay $675,000 in six months.

On July 5, the deal went sour, and the next day, armed guards seized Reserve and Crescendo and shuttered them.

Court documents contain the deposition of Stefani, saying Joe Cacciatore told him in June that he knew Gettleman had frozen the assets. On Thursday, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission asked Demasi and Cacciatore to show cause why they should not be held in contempt. The case was continued.

One business plan fronted by the Cacciatore side would give control to Michael Kaulentis, and make him the big cheese of Chicago nightclubs. But that's only one plan.

The feds might have another plan, figuring out how Tony Demasi, a nobody from nowhere, got his city permits and thrived in the cutthroat Chicago nightclub business.

But I doubt this plan involves the U.S. attorney sipping $950 Reserve martinis in the VIP room.

[source: Chicago Tribune]

aiken shaken all over the damn place

2007-07-27T10:31:00.000-05:00

maaaan does Clay got a hold on me and all of his 'mates - they just can't get enough of that red-headed southern Barry Manilow look-alike. so much that an american idol musical was written and performed in NY, but really the driving force behind the creation was strictly Clay.

read about - Idol:The Musical

a moment of unsilence for lohan

2007-07-26T17:07:00.000-05:00

ok lilo - you just turned 21...you've been binge drinking for a while now and of course doin' face plants into huge bails of snow/baking powder/sugar/salt/whathaveyou. it's your 2nd DUI, that sucks. you have or "had" a leg tracker anklet on. you were chasing your assistant's mom b/c you heard she had the "goods" like cupcakes with baking powder on top. you following me or did you zone out and start drawing your name in the "suga?" dude, listen: we all drank as teens, we all did it illegial-ish and we're all still alive and not addicted. i know some partiers who have never been to rehab and probably never will and they could guzzle a keg and destroy a bottle of ridalin faster than you can say Herbie Fully Loaded, well because you are fully loaded.
180 days in jail? click to read what MSNBC thinks.
click to hear the 911 call - "yes, lilo is chasin' me"

ok...so now that i've got the lohan thing out of the way...my trashy predictions (from years ago - circa: hit me baby, one more time) just keep coming true. brit went ahead and just did it at the OK! magazine shoot and maaaaaan did she trailer trash the shit out that shoot. she rubbed some greeesy hands on the couture gown they gave her to wear, not to keep; let her doggie poop on another gown and demanded that her friends made sure her hair was did! not the professionals that were hired for the shoot to do her hair. wait, does she have hair yet? yaaaaah brit, the girl is trashy like ice is cold (beastie boys get some credit for that from "she's crafty")
perez has got the dish on this - click here

craft services were told to only bring gianto bags of cheetos for the OK! shoot

it's almost the weekend - REJOICE! and catch some sunglasses on your face, dude

2007-07-26T17:04:00.000-05:00

a tasty treat

2007-07-23T11:55:00.000-05:00

nah, i'm not talking about beggin' strips or DQ...

PASTAwithMATZAH.com

check out my partner (dana) and i's creative portfolio. it's for the kids, i swear!

THIS JUST IN: going GOTH wins an EMMY; so does POOP

2007-07-12T12:07:00.000-05:00

what would you do after you found out your dad was doing a guy named 'Johnny Cakes' while wearing leather studded chaps? poop in a shower, of course. ok, i know it's a little more complicated than that...but how do you get from: Vito servicing a construction worker early in the AM, Meadow's weakling of a boyfriend witnessing it, him leaking the info to the crew, Tony and crew become ashamed and torn between what they should do with him, Pauly "eh oh!" Phil taking out his homophobic rage on Vito, Vito's kids finally finding out the truth through hear-say and rumors "butt pirate," upset and enraged Vito Jr. to goth Vito Jr. to the climax of the shower poop.

and here we are...(click image for better view)
[source: Defamer.com via Variety magazine)

com'on joey, gimmie a beat!

2007-07-11T16:04:00.000-05:00

i NEED NEED NEED to be on the Singing Bee.

and if i have to makeout with Joey Fatone, 'the fat-one', to get on, i will do it, to it! someone get me a connection, get me to the promise land of the Singing Bee. i could use 50Gs like Lohan could use a nasal passage. you got me?

i kept seeing the teasers for this game show, over and over again, with fat-one's smiling face smeared with cheez whiz and i told myself, "you are not watching that! no matter how 'bad it's so good' it's going to be, you restrain yourself now!" but then i was cooking and i was oh so far away from the TV and clicker, that i just had to watch it once i got so so so far away (maybe 20 feet). my TV is always set to channel 5, primed for instant TODAY SHOW access, so i can catch local Chicago weather expert, Andy Avalos for a weather check and MoMo Viera, Matt & Al--every morning when i'm getting ready to scoot out..sometime between 8:51ish and 9:15ish. back to the kitchen: here i am, cooking up some concoction, and poor little me is stuck watching the fat-one and some Americana contestants butcher the words to top 40. god, it was magical. i loved it and i would have beat out every single person on the show. even the guy who thought knowing the words to "All star" was a huge accomplishment and rare talent. david blaine and cris angel make this guy look like a marionette. wait a second, i'm off topic now.

so anyways, i need to get on this show. i will find a way. i will conquer this thing and win 50Gs. it's too bad the prize money isn't closer to a 'Deal or No Deal'-'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' range..but i'll take that anyways.

joey, i'm waiting...come get me!

porn soundtrack!

2007-07-02T12:27:00.000-05:00

you smell like it sounds...

2007-06-29T15:29:00.000-05:00

happy friday! ahoy, it's my birthday weekend!

do you think you could play the oregon trail on this thing?

2007-06-29T12:27:00.000-05:00

it's so big, i don't know what to do with myself?

you don't need anything else but the iphone. one device will do it all and how will all the other cell phone companies match up? they're going to have to work so much harder because now every feature like: email, internet, v-cast, bleep-bleep (nextel/sprint), camera, video camera, mp3 player, calendar seems like a JV basketball player that will never make Varsity, even though he's a senior. where do electronics go from here? maybe the next phone will also be a car or a bike or a mo-ped/motorcycle - whichever mode of transportation you prefer?

i think the iphone commericals are pretty lame - wooo, show me the features with a creepy voice narrating it all. just show me the features, don't talk and play some catchy indie band's song in the background, maybe add in some color backgrounds like the popular ipod commercials and then the mac & PC guy chillin' in the background too. from the ipod commercials to the mac & PC commercials, these do not even reach the pull-up bar. i think Conan got it right though...

random fact from gizmodo.com: Apple & Co. managed to keep a lid on (iphone's)development for two and a half years

and the grand finale: Gawker's Kreepie Kats take on the iphone madness:

(click to enlarge)

just in time for ho-ing in the Hamptons

2007-06-27T09:36:00.000-05:00

(source: Pretty on the Outside)
that's right, Paris is out just in time to ho her shit all over the Hamptons! i know they couldn't keep her locked up in there during the 4th of july, there is no WAY! and of course...Paris is out, free to spread the clap and crabs to anyone that wants to congratulate her.

i have a few questions...

real severe medical condition?
“The doctors were observing me while I was there. They explained to Sheriff [Lee] Baca that they thought I was having severe anxiety, panic attacks, claustrophobia.”

what's the first thing you do when you get out of prison, you heiress, you?
The heiress had a 9:30 at-home appointment Tuesday morning with DreamCatchers Hair Extensions, who gave the Simple Life star 20 inch-long hair extensions.

who would you write letters to while you're in prison? THE MOST RELIABLE NEWS SOURCE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, DUH!

(click image to enlarge)

what gives you the right to do this, brit and bro-ho?

are you ready...are you ready...?

2007-06-20T16:41:00.000-05:00

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S yeah! flying first class...takin' a bath (revised lyrics)

this could be the bridal party's entrance song and it couldn't be more f-in sweet! heading off to Michigan for the weekend, the B'Ham, for my best friend from home's wedding. looking forward to lots of "celebrate good times, come on," "my eeeyes don't cry no mo'," "love shaaaaaaack," and most importantly, JENNA & ELI tying the knot!

and now, an awesome wedding collage:

strummin our sweet, sweet vows
"ey oh, nance, wanna dance wit us? ya know, like a-the electric slide?"

"i can't believe mom had to wear that blue poof! she totally stole my thunder! wa uh!"

"have you seen my husband? whaat? you don't want breakfast?"
i think i just married myself with a 'stache. what the hell are those socks?
this frosting tastes like butterscotch. butt and scotch.

a friday post on a wednesday

2007-06-20T16:37:00.001-05:00

everytime they show david blaine and chris angel spoofs on My Giant on MTV, i can't stop laughing. funny or die, the genuises that posted the Will Ferrll "Landlord" short film have posted this hilarious david blaine parody encounter with a gay couple. HAPPY (early) FRIDAY!
David Blaine Street Magic 2

Lou Pearlman Update

2007-06-14T17:08:00.000-05:00

because i know you've been wondering about his whereabouts as much as i have. THEY FOUND HIM! he's been on the run for a few months now...and was said to have been last seen in Germany in April.

he was in Indonesia, probably scooping up some young Indonesian boys to start a under-10 boy band.

MSN reports:

Lou Pearlman Arrested in Indonesia

Boy-band mogul Lou Pearlman was arrested in an Indonesian hotel early Thursday, turned over to U.S. law enforcement officials and flown to Guam to appear before a judge there, authorities said.

Pearlman was charged with one felony count of bank fraud.

"We expect that he will be returned to Florida," said Steve Cole, a spokesman for the U.S. Attorney's Office in Tampa.

Pearlman allegedly defrauded about 1,000 investors of more than $315 million by selling for years a bogus savings account plan, then using their money to cover his losses in other businesses. Banks are hounding him and his companies for more than $120 million, according to court documents.

Pearlman conjured multi-platinum success by piecing together boy bands such as the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync in the 1990s.

He hadn't been seen or heard from in months, nor had he responded to multiple subpoenas.

Creditors liquidated Pearlman's assets at an auction Tuesday in Orlando. Proceeds from the sale were to pay off his considerable debt, though authorities were still trying to put the whole picture together.

5 seconds of nothing...

2007-06-11T11:08:00.000-05:00

and then...NO MUSIC. the music that we're use to hearing blaring during the white credits set upon a black screen was not there. the end just ended without us even knowing what just happened. and i was so tense for the entire diner scene, i think most people were shaking in their boots. who's that guy at the counter, stirring his coffee? who's the guy at the booth in the USA hat? why do they always show a laughing couple that seem oblivious to what might happen? was meadow taking so long to park her car because she was going to just miss being killed with her entire family? when the guy in the gray member's only jacket started walking toward the booth i started to cover my eyes...

If you read any article today read Alan Sepinwall's column here on NJ.com
or check out his Soprano's blog here. he has been covering the Sopranos since day 1 and a fellow NJ'er definitely knows his stuff. below are comments from NY.com:

hidden messages:
So here is what I found out. The guy at the bar is also credited as Nikki Leotardo. The same actor played him in the first part of season 6 during a brief sit down concerning the future of Vito. That wasn't that long ago. Apparently, he is the nephew of Phil. Phil's brother Nikki Senior was killed in 1976 in a car accident. Absolutely Genius!!!! David Chase is truly rewarding the true fans who pay attention to detail. So the point would have been that life continues and we may never know the end of the Sopranos. But if you pay attention to the history, you will find that all the answers lie in the characters in the restaurant. The trucker was the brother of the guy who was robbed by Christopher in Season 2. Remember the DVD players? The trucker had to identify the body. The boy scouts were in the train store and the brothas at the end were the ones who tried to kill Tony and only clipped him in the ear (was that season 2 or 3?).

Absolutely incredible!!!! There were three people in the restaurant who had reason to kill Tony and then it just ends. This was Chase's way of proving that he will not escape his past. It will not go on forever despite that he would like it to "don't stop". Not the fans!!! Tony would like it to keep going but just as we have to say goodbye, so does he.

perfect ending:
No ending could have been more perfect: the family gathering over yet another supper, and that sense of the outside world (ie, their outside world, which could contain the threat of people like them, or the threat of people like us) and only the mere possibility that there will be a tomorrow for them all.

I loved how Chase shot almost all of the characters in this episode in moments when we were certain that was IT for them: Paulie in the darkened bar being stood up; A.J. car's bursting into flames; A.J. walking to his new (and better!) car after leaving the production office, talking on his cell; Meadow screwing up her parallel park over and over: we all tensed up at these moments, thinking, Christ, here it comes. And then it didn't. Well, this time it didn't. And as Tony's looking up to see Meadow come through the door, that bell ringing (didn't everything ring a bell in this episode?) and either that guy has just loaded a gun in the bathroom and he's heading out or he's just taken a whizz and he's going back to place his order. It's all over, or it's going on.

And then five seconds of black as Chase punted us back into a world without these characters and these stories. That was tough love, but it was love just the same: imagine a world where our storytellers would trust we were smart enough and mature enough to accept the kind of terminal ambiguity we got tonight. I want to live in that world and I'm glad I did.

we were whacked:

The viewers - US - were whacked as Meadow walked into the restaurant.......and, we never saw it coming.

and it ended just like this - "don't stop..." and black out.

come on! jump on the 'knocked up' bandwagon

2007-06-08T16:53:00.000-05:00

this movie is the mother f-in word on the street (streets). the 2nd coming of the 40-year old virgin cast, the grey's anatomy star, oh the cuteness/coolness! i saw it last weekend (opening day to be exact), and it was good for a few laughs, but not hilarious and no where near the laughs that ensued throughout 40 year old. NEWSFLASH: ben greenman, author of 'Superbad' attacked the lovable pot-head old school style- through a typed letter (that has an older school look to it, appearing to be typed by a typewriter, whoa). Seth's new movie, (no, not 'cracked up, the story of an 80 yr old new dad who is a drug dealer') but a movie awesomely titled 'Superbad.' Whoa. obviously this name has a greater meaning in Ben Greenman's life and we might never know about. but check out his correspondence to Seth (posted on Gawker). click here to keep truckin' on that 'knocked up' bandwagon... and here for more KU scandal!

Ben Greenman Attacks Seth Rogen

EY! OH! BOB-BAY!

2007-06-07T11:55:00.001-05:00

i knew he was going to be the first to go if they had an all out war. in some ways, it was cowardly on Phil's part to off him first, because Bobby is an easy target. they even said " didn't he use to be Uncle Jun's driver?" i always thought of Bobby as too nice for the Mafia, especially the NJ/NY Mafia, and he was more of a family man than Tony or Silvio, or any of the guys for that matter, were. i couldn't even watch the entire killing of Bobby, it was too sad, but i knew he was going to be an easy target because he always seems so inattentive and oblivious.

and Silvo! he's in critical condition, the poor guy! i can't help but feel like i'm losing some family members (some of them remind me of my family). one more episode left, one more time to see who gets whacked. will it be a shoot down on a construction site? a shoot out in the streets of NJ or upstate NY?

my prediction: The crews with meet up, after most of their men have been killed off, Tony and Pauly wing-tips Walnuts will be the last men standing and Phil and some no-namers. Pauly will get killed but won't go out without a few last "OOOH! HEEEY! HEEEY-O's!" Phil and Tony will be the last 2 standing, in a sort-of western shoot out. Tony will get shot, but run away and we won't know what happens to him. i think it will end ambiguously as to what his condition is, but Carmela and the family, who are in hiding, will get a call from him (not clear if he is dying or in a bad condition, but will live), and then, black-out, the END.

top 10 Sopranos moments (plus check out the family photo album)

new skinny biatch diet: special K cereal (dry),water, exlax, piece of lettuce

2007-06-06T15:35:00.000-05:00

oh man, breakfast skippers everywhere are going to start waking up early just to get that bowl of special K in.

Skipping breakfast has more
implications
than just mid-morning hunger
pains.A new review, published
in the NutritionBulletin
(June 2007) verified that
people who eat cereal for
breakfastregularly tend to have
a lower bodymass index (BMI) and
are less likelyto be overweight
than those who do not eat cereal
for breakfast regularly.

[source: PR newswire]

the world just tipped over(Al Gore, you were right); pigs are flying; hell is colder than sh*t; the fat lady just sang a 3 hour remix of Tupac's 'all eyes on me' double disc.

Kellogg's new Special K commercial shows 2 hip and trendy roomies getting ready to leave for work - the first one (wearing a red shirt, obvs!) grabs her coffee and you hear her stomach growl (the usual hunger pang sound from a stomach of a 20-something that skips breakfast, you know), and FREEZE FRAME! hold up girl, didn't you know, studies show that those skinny bitches that eat breakfast in the morning are even skinnier than the skinny bitches who don't eat breakfast (just water and maybe coffee). and guess what? you can be skinnier than your roomie who just walked in! hah, listen to her stomach, it's growling for some Special K, but you're the one who knows that eating breakfast guarantees that you'll be skinnier than her, so hell no are you going to tell her that eating breakfast is a weight loss trick! hell no!

i love cereal. sweet.

"err, shhh, crsssssh, you're breaking up!"

2007-06-06T15:21:00.000-05:00

you've probably done that before or had someone do it you. you're thinking: "i've got to get out of this conversation. did i just pick up the phone? i should have screened the call! who is this guy? if i hear one more thing about her break-up i'm going to lose it! i'm not even listening. what time is it? who am i talking to again? wait a second....crsssssssh, errrssssssh hello! i can't hear you? are you there? my phone's breaking up, i'll call you back."

save your sound effects for story telling time. i've got the gadget for you, you poor soul who always gets conned into pointless, annoying, confrontational phone calls -

SOUND ALIBI KEY RING

including these sounds: police siren, loud noise, baby crying, door bell, knock at door and car crash.

get your excuses here

the Ann Curry effect

2007-06-05T15:59:00.000-05:00

i'll admit it, i am addicted to the Today Show. it has to be on in the morning, if GMA is on in the gym and i can't change the channel, i get pretty pissy, especially because Charles Gibson and Diane Sawyer make me feel all uptight in the morning. i need my Matt and Meredith, Al and well, I could do without Ann Curry. everytime she gets a chance to get out behind that news desk, she always screws everything up and usually my morning doesn't start off right because 1. she's so fake with her lean over in her chair to talk down to the interviewee's level style 2. her "skepticism" (she says "well, i'm a skeptic" about 50 times during the course of the show and her interviews) and 3. her ability to offend everyone she interviews.

things i do enjoy are when she tries to overshadow Meredith or Matt when they give her extra segments or interviews, like the one with Angelina in Africa, and most of the time they just ignore her and her wanting to become the next Couric. get back behind that news desk and tell us some serious ground breaking news, i don't want to hear you interview Bindi the Croc Hunter's daughter or the Hoff, it's just gut wrenching.

and so, I have decided, when Meredith is out of town and they give her interviews and segments to Ann, the Curry Effect takes over the entire show! much like when David Gregory subs for Matt and makes a complete fool of himself (all 6 ft. 5 of him), at least you can laugh at him, with the Ann Curry Effect, everyone is not safe. she will humiliate Martha Stewart, patronize the Hoff, make a suicidal teen feel even more "at risk" and the offend Al, Campbell and Matt all in a day's work.

by the way, WHEN IS MEREDITH COMING BACK? i thought i could never like someone from the View, but i can't take this Curry Effect any longer.

living in a world of mash-ups and remixes

2007-05-26T14:39:00.000-05:00

life is complicated. music has become even more complicated. there isn't just 1 version of each song anymore (no, i am not talking about the regular version and then the instrumental version that cassette tapes use to provide in the 80s & 90s), i'm talking about the mash-up, remix, featuring, with, cover crazy crazy world of music. move over mixtapes and cover bands, the mash-up DJs are taking over. starting with DJ AM (i'm sure he's not the first, but he has become the most mainstream via nicole richie)--his mash-up that i hear constantly is Nelly's 'country grammar' sauced up with Lynryd Skynryd's 'sweet home alabama.'

i think the #1 mash-up DJ right now is Girl Talk. Mixing close to 30 songs in one mash-up masterpiece, mixing rap, alternative, power pop, adult contemporary, some 80s classics - he basically read my skitsophrenic playlist and made them flow like bone thugs 'n harmony busting out 5,000 words per minute. Night Ripper tracks is unreal, and is ideal for "name that tune." i dare you to try and name all of the songs before the next one gets mashed up into the mix. Girl Talk right now, only does small club venues or house parties, try to catch him before he becomes the next DJ AM and you have to pay $30 cover to see him in Vegas or LA.

beyond Girl Talk is the new group of bands or remixers, coming out with their own stuff, as well as leaking numerous tracks on the internet of some of your favorite songs with sometimes better sounding beats than the original track. some of my favs right now (i say right now, because it changes weekly, monthly of what's my favorite) are 25 hours a day remix of Phoenix's 'long distance call,' Jacques Lu Cont's Thin White Duke Mix of Gwen Stefani's '4 In the morning,' treasure finger's remix of Fergie's 'glamourous' (the flossy, flossy), Snowden's cover of Fleetwood Mac's 'dreams,' mstrkrft's remix of Justice's 'D.A.N.C.E.,' and Lily Allen's cover of the Kaiser's Cheif's 'oh my god.' (most of my resources for finding new tunes, remixes and covers are: stereogum - good weather for airstrikes - kissatlanta - indie christoph - idolator - shameless complacency - check 'em out!)

back onto my soap box made out of tape players - mash-ups are never ending, covers (with cover bands everywhere too) will continue to recycle and one day someone will say they're doing a cover of Dixie's Chick's cover of Smashing Pumpkins 'Landslide' and not even realize that back in the day (before i was born), that it was originallt written and played by Fleetwood Mac. wow that was a mouthful. i want more mash-ups and remixes, the more the merrier my music collection is. i get bored of the same thing (i.e. radio and even internet radio repeats!) and these help my music ADD.(the real O.G.'s of 'landslide')

where will music go beyond the covers, mash-ups and remixes?

TWO for ONE

2007-05-17T16:15:00.000-05:00

"TWO for ONE lady, TWO for ONE!" that can only mean one thing - i'm off to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico tomorrow for 1 week! arriba!!

wish you were here..........

* i'll bring you back some chiclets. all the 8 & unders are selling them on the street...

you can pretend that you're at the zoo bar with me!

let's get political, political

2007-05-17T09:12:00.000-05:00

can't you just hear britney spears singing a re-done cover of olivia newton john's "let's get physical," just to get in the middle of all of this political popularity contest. WHO ISN'T RUNNING?
(click image to enlarge) - (source: RADAR mag)

photo-shopped picture of the day...

2007-05-17T09:05:00.000-05:00

SAUSAGE FINGERS!

there is no F-in way that Rachel Ray has that slim of a stomach. I don't believe this picture at all, but nice try FHM. man they must be hurting for celebs to pose for them.

YUMMOOOOOOO

"i work too hard!" "i want my money!" - Pearl

2007-05-11T11:01:00.000-05:00

happy fricken friday y'all, by the way Pearl wants her money so she can get her drink on! (in case you can't hear the short film playing in the background; are you annoyed yet? hit pause!) for now, enjoy a great monologue by Rainn Wilson, hosting SNL:

from faux starbucks expresso & nauseating abbreviated class descriptions to beer bongs & mary jane

2007-05-11T10:21:00.000-05:00

the day in the life of a typical MSU student vs. the day in the life of a Harvard MBA student...hmmm there are so many commanalities, it's hard to decifer. But hopefully by showing the picture of the "super cute" Harvard MBA'er it will help you figure it out. (the identity of my MSU buddy has been removed, we don't need no popo knocking down her door!)

indulge in what it's like to be a Harvard MBA student, tons O fun! it's a long one, get ready...

Day in the Life: Missy Blakeley
6:45 a.m. The alarm clock buzzes. I have never been a morning person, and waking up when the digital clock starts with a “6” is truly challenging for me. I roll out of bed and head to the espresso machine—one of my new indulgences, since my student budget just does not allow for daily Starbucks trips! I shower, get dressed, check email, and run out of my on-campus apartment. Today is a lucky day—I run into my friend Meredith on the elevator. I rave about her shoes; she compliments my necklace; we catch up on the previous night’s events and walk briskly to Spangler for study group. Our quick pace is due both to our tardiness for learning team and the wonderful Boston weather, which sometimes leaves me wondering if my ears are going to fall off in the cold!
7:35 a.m. I enter learning team five minutes late. My school-assigned learning team stopped meeting last semester, so I joined a different learning team that happens to include three of my best friends. As usual, Bob arrived early to claim the room and get first dibs on Spangler’s yogurt parfaits. If you visit, try one—they are positively addictive! Today is a three-case day with rather challenging cases, so we quickly focus on discussing the material.
8:30 a.m. Learning team ends, and we disperse to our sections. I am in Section F. I jaunt over to Aldrich, stopping to pick up a free Wall Street Journal on the way. As I read the M&A highlights, I feel bittersweet knowing that if I had stayed in investment banking, I probably would have pulled many all-nighters working on one of the highlighted transactions.
8:40 a.m. My Business, Government, and the International Economy (BGIE) class begins. Today’s topic is China. BGIE is the most difficult class for me, and also one of the most enriching. One of my classmates is from China and several have worked there, and I am once again awed by the depth of my sectionmates’ experiences. By the end of the class, I decide that I need to spend time in China soon. The more time I spend at HBS, the more things I add to my life “to do” list. Attending HBS can be an extremely exhilarating—and humbling—experience.
10:00 a.m. Class ends. I catch up with a few classmates at the coffee stand and stop at Dillon House to pick up some prospective students. As Admissions Rep for Section F, I bring prospective students to class almost every day and am constantly reminded of how privileged I am to be here.
10:20 a.m. Class 2: Strategy
11:40 a.m. Lunch! I head back to my apartment and read my third case for the day. Typically, I try to spend about two hours preparing each case, but with the never-ending activities at HBS, prioritizing among cases, meetings, speakers, recruiting, and social events sometimes forces me to employ speed-reading techniques. In my second semester, I have learned to read cases more effectively and, consequently, more quickly.
12:45 p.m. I return to Aldrich for section intros. Every three-case day, my sectionmates take turns talking briefly about their lives. Today, Tali talks about her time in the Israeli army, Alex outlines his journeys sneaking into the Congo on a banana truck, and Rebecca tells us stories about teaching in a public charter school.
1:10 p.m. Finance 2 class. Today’s class is about financial distress at United Airlines, and I make sure to contribute to the discussion since I worked with a bankrupt company in my previous job. My professor, Nabil El-Hage, is both a teacher and a friend to me. I have been sincerely shocked at the accessibility of professors here at HBS. All the professors are eager to get to know each of us personally and are truly dedicated to teaching. The tenure system at HBS demands that our professors are phenomenal in the classroom. It shows.
2:30 p.m. I meet up with my best friend Nikki, and we walk together to Shad (the fitness center). We hit the elliptical machines and multitask, skimming US Weekly and chatting about Nikki’s research with professor Myra Hart. Nikki and I met shortly after we were admitted to HBS and have been best friends ever since. I feel infinitely blessed to be able to share my time at HBS with such an inspiring, brilliant, thoughtful, and determined best friend. She is one of many lifelong friends I have made here.
3:45 p.m. I jog back home and check email and voice mail. The next hour of my life will have to be dedicated to returning recruiting phone calls! This summer I will be a consultant in the Boston Consulting Group’s San Francisco office, and I couldn’t be more enthusiastic about the internship. The number of firms that recruit at HBS is positively phenomenal; our Job Bank swells with new opportunities daily. Many of my sectionmates are avoiding more structured programs and are instead holding out for last-minute offers at niche companies or are even starting their own companies. Opportunities truly span the globe and come in all shapes and sizes.
4:45 p.m. I read one case for tomorrow. I am in charge of writing up and presenting tomorrow’s Entrepreneurial Manager case to my learning team in the morning, so I do a particularly thorough job.
7:00 p.m. I meet up with my friend Robby at a Wine & Cuisine Society event in Spangler. Tonight we are tasting selections from an Australian winery and are also nibbling cheese. While ostensibly it may sound as though Robby and I are just drinking wine and eating cheese, I promise that we are getting a good wine education that will be valuable for future business meetings. At least that’s what Robby and I tell each other.
8:00 p.m. My good friend Reid comes over for dinner. Reid also attends HBS, and although we have likely been within 500 feet of one another all day, we haven’t had a moment to catch up! We make calzones and Reid reprimands us both for eating dinner too late. He went to West Point and is one of the healthiest people I know, yet even he is guilty of being too busy to perfectly balance his life! Today is Wednesday, and we both have section social events to attend, so we eat while reading another case for tomorrow.
10:00 p.m. Reid and I head across the river into Harvard Square for our section events. At the beginning of the year, we spent more time on cases and less time on social activities, but now I truly believe that the social activities are one of the most important aspects of HBS. The friendships that I form at HBS will be just as important as the technical frameworks that I learn in the classroom. Never again will I be surrounded with such an inspiring group of peers, and time is truly flying by.
12:00 a.m. I walk back to campus with several of my sectionmates, go to my room, and crawl into bed. My attempt at reading a fiction book is met with sleepy eyes after a few moments. I drift off to dreamland, feeling genuinely lucky to have the honor of these busy days.

*a few comments: i only saw the word "bar" in this ONCE; lots of free advertising and kissing up to HBS in this; since when was eating at 8pm, late? losers! ellipticalling and reading US Weekly is tough, especially for people who are smart. WHO GOES TO BED AT 12am?
*side note: found this little tid-bit on Missy's profile, weeeee!
When asked how will she lead? in the real world, she responds, "I have tried to live by the Golden Rule since my days as a Girl Scout, and I will lead with that theme."

and now...the day in the life of an MSU student. note: where she mentions
smoking" i would probably insert "at bar" "getting a drink" "pre-drinking" "at bar."

9:15am: the alarm goes off for my 10:20 class, I hit snooze. At 9:23, the alarm goes off again, and I turn the alaram off-who are we kidding, we all know I am NOT going to go for the 3rd week in a row. It's ok because I have abotu 10 other people in the class I know to get notes from

Noon: I am still asleep, and definatley not going to my 12:40

1pm: Wake up and get ready for the day, my favorite soap is on at 2 so I have to be completely ready for class so I can get there when it is over. Maybe I will get stoned before class, it depends on how much weed I have and how quickly I can get more.

2:55pm-Head to my 3pm class...few people are on time so it usually doesn't matter.

3:50pm-last class of the day over, I usually walk home with a cigarette if it's nice, but usually I will con one of my sorority sisters into picking me up. We will definatly smoke weed before the all you can eat buffet dinners at the house.

6pm-Dinner is over and we have an hour before our next sorority event, I go to my room and play snood and talk to my bff, Mackenzie, she didn't go to ANY of her classes today-I am the big winner!

7pm-sorority event, that involves some type of hazing of pledges....I am so stoned and it's awesomely fun. If there is no sorority event, I will use the early evening to do MANDATORY homework-aka a paper that is due, exam the next day.

9pm-eat a snack and play some gamecube...after all I do have a 6 question homework assignment due tomorrow.

10pm-do the assignment and email it in, since we all know I am not going to class tomorrow either. Which is ok, I can just pick up the class notes from the notebook. I do a quick skim of a chapter I was supposed to read last week, in case I do decide to attend part of class tomorrow. The classes are so big, no one knows if you are there or not, and the profs don't expect much out out of us anyway.

11pm-drive around and get stoned with some sisters or go to the bar

12:30am-We decided to get stoned and raid the snack kitchen.

1am-I go into my room to pass out from my busy day and my bff Mackenzie is at my computer playing our favorite computer game, Snood. Although she is supposed to be writing a paper. I tell her I will do some reading with her.

2:30am-Neither one of us has accomplished a damn thing.

3:30am-off to bed to start another rigorous day at MSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*a few comments: i really miss college; MSU was 4 years of a world that will never exist again for me and it was soooooo worth it.

note: this is not a Harvard tailgate, but just a regular MSU tailgate, at the rock, rockin.

(special thanks to my bud for the awesome recap of her day-in-the-life of a real college student)

you got GOT in the 4-eva 21!

2007-05-10T16:03:00.000-05:00

my bud made it in the NY Times, but she got caught in Forever 21. it's a good store, it serve it's purpose, trendy cheap clothing for the time being, until it falls apart after 3 washes. i like the store, and colleen looooves the store. and what are the chances that someone caught her after work rummaging through the trendy merch? about 9-out of-10. enjoy the read:

On a recent Friday evening, discarded merchandise was hurriedly ferried from the canvas-curtained fitting rooms back to the racks and to tables piled pell-mell with castoffs. Colleen O’Neill, who works in the buying office of MaxMara, the Italian fashion label, ignored the line snaking toward the changing area, preferring to stand in the middle of the sales floor tugging a tropical print sundress over her shirt. “Who can wait for a fitting room,” she said.

With a friend and a fellow worker, Ana Burcroff, Ms. O’Neill scours the store for bargains every other day. “But it’s really hard to find things here in your size,” she said, explaining that they sell out quickly, “so we look for a style we like and go back and buy it online back at work.”

She liked that “the clothes are on trend,” she added, “almost indistinguishable from designer clothes.”

Indeed. On the evidence of the wares at stores in Los Angeles and Manhattan, the merchants are clever enough to emulate a handful of retail competitors, reproducing the styles scouted on the runways and at upscale boutiques.

Diane Von Furstenberg filed a lawsuit last month against Forever 21 for replicating a DVF dress down to its print, fabric and color. Current law does not protect clothing design from being copied (logos are an exception), but Ms. Von Furstenberg and other American designers have been lobbying Congress since last year to expand the copyright statute that protects music and books. Such a change is considered a long shot.

Anna Corinna, a partner at Foley & Corinna, a boutique on Manhattan’s Lower East Side, was startled to discover a photograph of a Forever 21 evening dress on a blog, Fashionista.com, alongside one of her store’s designs. From their fluid cut and noodle straps to the floral panel running down their fronts, the dresses were almost identical. The Foley & Corinna dress sells for more than $400, the copy for about $40.

“When I looked at those pictures, I didn’t know which dress was ours at first,” Ms. Corinna said. “It’s almost as if their people had told themselves: ‘Mmm, this is good stuff. Let’s forget product development and just make what they are doing.’ ”

“I would understand their being ‘influenced or inspired by.’ Everyone is,” she added. “But this is just a blatant steal.” She is not planning to take action.

Ms. Boisset of Forever 21 said that the company works with many suppliers and does not always know where their ideas originate.

In such cases, it is sometimes the customer who has the last word. “I found a wrap dress here that looked just like one by Diane Von Furstenberg,” Ms. O’Neill recalled as she shopped at the 34th Street store in Manhattan. Did it trouble her that the company appeared to be trading in knockoffs? “Not really,” she confessed. “That dress, you know, I bought it.”

[source: NY Times]

cheap chocolate sauce thrills

2007-05-09T13:06:00.000-05:00

what i can say? i get my cheap thrills from a DQ commercial. i love their dairy products even though i am lactose intolerant, i sacrifice my stomach and eat DQ, it's that good. and their new ad for the DQ Chocolate Covered Strawberry Waffle Bowl Sundae is how i get my laugh on between watching all of the Flavor of Love spin-offs on VH1. click here to watch this humongo sexual innuendo of a commercial. enjoy!

blogging in the name of Britney

2007-05-02T12:33:00.000-05:00

she's baaack. i read a little "blind item" the other day that sniffed at the idea of Brit making her way back onto the stage under an alias "The M&M's" (real original. most would of thought it was some disney channel group) at the House of Blues in Cali.

And the rumor was true, she did it, wig and all. And because i've been AWOL from blogging the last 2 weeks or so, I had to blog in the name of mother f-in Britney Spears. She was wearing white fur, short shorts, hot pink bikini top, ooo weee! No wonder why she has been spotted in and out of dance studios sporting weird 80s Flash Dance outfits.

MSNBC was all over this:

She’s back! Spears takes stage at Calif. club

Pop star’s 5-song set believed to be 1st public appearance in nearly 3 years

SAN DIEGO - Britney Spears took the stage late Tuesday at the House of Blues, making what is believed to be her first public concert appearance in nearly three years.

Starting the five-song set with her debut single “Baby One More Time,” Spears was back in top form. The one-time teen pop queen appeared onstage in boots, a sparkly pink bra top and a short skirt with her belly ring out.

The drama of the past few months appeared to be behind her.

Her only words came as she was leaving. “Thanks everyone for coming,” she told the packed club, where people paid upward of $125 a ticket.

Shrouded in mystery
Tuesday’s appearance — in which Spears wore a long brown wig — was shrouded in mystery. The club marquee made no mention of Spears, announcing only the performance of “The M&Ms.” Word, however, quickly spread on the Internet and fans posted well wishes for her comeback performance.

“The M&Ms” had two other concerts scheduled at House of Blues venues in Southern California — one in Anaheim on Wednesday and the other Thursday in West Hollywood — according to the club’s Web site.

Earlier this year, the 25-year-old successfully completed a stint at a luxury Malibu drug rehabilitation treatment facility after a bout of headline-generating behavior that included a February stop at a San Fernando Valley hair salon to shave her own head in front of television news cameras.

Spears filed for divorce in November from aspiring rapper Kevin Federline, just two months after giving birth to their second child, Jayden James. The pair also have an older son, Sean Preston, now 20 months.

The two reached a divorce settlement in March.

HAPPY FRIDAY YOU LITTLE LADS!

2007-04-20T16:42:00.001-05:00

the father of boy bands on the run (er, maybe walk)

2007-04-20T16:22:00.000-05:00

Lou Pearlman, the sleezy, overweight creepy looking father of boy bands (N'Sync and Backstreet Boys) is on the run (probably more of a fast walk) from the Feds.

Have you seen the hilarious skit of him on SNL, played by John Stewart where he creates a Boy Band out of people who he seemed to be left over like "Lobster Arms boy" and "old man." ? Instead of creating an odd squad of tween-loving crooners, he decided to swindle some old people and run off with it to Germany.

Earlier this week it was reported that Lou had swindled some $350 million from investors (mainly elderly) and $150 million from various banks for some pyramid scheme. After he cashed out, he was no where to be found. Read more...

And now he is said to be traced to Germany after trying to wire himself $250,000 dollars.

From the Orlando Sentinel:
Orlando entrepreneur Lou Pearlman may be trying to tap into $250,000 that authorities think was recently transferred from one of his companies to a German bank, according to court documents.

To keep the money out of Pearlman's hands, an administrator for Louis J. Pearlman Enterprises Inc. is asking a bankruptcy judge to freeze the funds.

A source called Friday with a tip about the wire transfer, said Mike Markham, attorney for administrator Jerry McHale.

"We were told the money was on its way to Germany, and we were fearful Mr. Pearlman was going to be waiting for it on the other end," Markham said. He would not disclose who provided the tip.

Pearlman left the country just as his business empire collapsed under lawsuits and criminal probes. He was reportedly in Germany on Feb. 2, but his location since is unknown.

Court documents say the money may be headed to an account that may be controlled by Pearlman or a company he did business with called German Invest- und Finanzberatung. That German company denied holding any money for Pearlman in interviews with a Sentinel reporter earlier this year.

In a related move Wednesday, McHale filed for bankruptcy on behalf of Louis J. Pearlman Enterprises and Trans Continental Studios Inc.
[source: Orlando Sentinel]

Lou giving tips on how to be successful in the boy band business:

give me...4 beers? i gotta get my drink on

2007-04-20T15:59:00.000-05:00

take it to the limit

2007-04-18T09:40:00.000-05:00

Ad Age is reporting that NIKE decided to take a stand for woman's sports, race in response to the Imus outrage -

NEW YORK (AdAge.com) -- Now Nike has entered the Don Imus fray, hoping a new ad will spark continued conversation about race in America.

The sports-apparel giant took out a full-page ad in the Sunday, April 15 edition of The New York Times, followed by banner ads on several websites that indirectly thank Mr. Imus for bringing the issues of race relations and sexism to the forefront.The Ad says:
"Thank you, ignorance.
Thank you for starting the conversation.
Thank you for making an entire nation listen to the Rutger's (sic) team story. And for making us wonder what other great stories we've missed.
Thank you for reminding us to think before we speak.
Thank you for showing us how strong and poised 18 and 20-year-old women can be.
Thank you for reminding us that another basketball tournament goes on in March.
Thank you for showing us that sport includes more than the time spent on the court.
Thank you for unintentionally moving women's sport forward.
And thank you for making all of us realize that we still have a long way to go.
Next season starts 11.16.07."

This is by far the best stand I have seen anyone take on the matter. Some others decided to go the "because I am this, I can talk about them" cultural stand, but I'm not buying it anymore and I think most of America has woken up.

from MTV News:

Admittedly, Snoop and some of his peers have called women "b----es" and "ho's" in their lyrics, but as the Dogg put it Tuesday afternoon (April 10), there is no parallel to what Imus said.

"It's a completely different scenario," said Snoop, barking over the phone from a hotel room in L.A. "[Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about ho's that's in the 'hood that ain't doing sh--, that's trying to get a n---a for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC [which announced Wednesday it would drop its simulcast of Imus' radio show] going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them mutha----as say we in the same league as him."

KING OF THE BURBS

2007-04-03T12:18:00.000-05:00

did you ever watch ego trip's "the (white) Rapper Show?" on VH1? - if not, you missed out on some bad rapping, there were about 3 people who could spit - Persia, $hamrock & Sullee (sometimes John Brown has good rhymes, but his flow is waaay tooo slooow).

found a great soundboard for the king of the idiotic catch phrases - John Brown (actually the runner-up) - he always said ridiculous things and had no way of backing up his random comments. enjoy this John Brown "King of the Burbs" soundboard - click here

[source: idolator]

need more John Brown? check out his myspace - Hallelujah Hollaback son!

the D is back in action!

2007-04-02T12:22:00.000-05:00

it's OPENING DAY for the DETROIT TIGERS!

as my sister told me, "it's like St. Patrick's Day downtown today." wish I could join in on the fun...in the meantime, GO TIGERS!!!

are you a discount TJer or a snobby organic eating WFer?

2007-03-29T09:55:00.000-05:00

the grocery store wars! the natural, good-for-you, dairy-free, ORGANIC, no pesticides, no GMO (what is that?), flax seed, kefir-lovin' boutique grocery stores. admit it, you hipster, you love them. i do, i prefer Trader Joe's (on my budget) and think that Whole Foods has probably the best produce your daddy's credit card can buy. i'm totally involved in all of this madness here in Chicago, but this is on a small scale compared to the MADNESS (so much MADNESS going on lately between this and SANJAYA MALAKAR) in New York right now.

New Yorkers are going bonkers for the NEW WHOLE FOODS that just opened on the Lower East Side. i heard from a few friends in NY that everyone is going crazy about it "ORGANIC FOOD in my neighborhood! I CAN'T TAKE IT!" "Can you believe it that Whole Foods is opening? SOY MILK, MAN!" (things like that). there have been lines outside of WF just to get in (apparently it's not BIG enough for the crazy NYers and their organic demands) and on opening day people were waiting outside like they were giving away X Box 360s, but no, just lots of pricey ORGANIC FOOD and SOY. we love healthy food (which is great), but do we love it because it's trendy...or because we really like sucking down some Flax Seed oil? i happen to like the taste of weird foods, which includes most kinds of foods and lots of odd things that WF and TJs sell, but i am not sold on the idea that everything that shops there enjoys the health-nut foods.

like an H&M to a Forever 21, Trader Joe's was not going to take this one lying down. oh hell no, Trader Joe's was not going to allow Whole Foods to come in a dominate the hungry organic loving NY grocery shopping hipsters/trend followers - they were going to profit off of this madness too and Trader Joe's in the East Village opened it's doors about a week ago.

check out this hilarious video from GAWKER of Joshua David Stein reporting LIVE from Whole Foods in the Lower East side.

GAWKER'S coverage of this GROCERY STORE MADNESS! (click here)

7 ponytails & a bawling tween!

2007-03-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

SANJAYAAAAAA MADNESS is upon us! have you been watching American Idol? you don't have to to hear about Sanjaya Malakar, the new love-to-hate-love-dorky-Indian-idol (the idol part is up for discussion). last week, he made a tween bawl in the audience after he came down and gave her a hug--she might have gotten her period right there, because it was evident that she became a woman at that moment. Sanjaya got back on stage and finished his horrible rendition of whatever he was singing, Simon told him he sucked and everyone boo'ed. this exact scene was portrayed on SNL this past Saturday, and Andy Samberg plays a great Sanjaya!

not to be topped by the week before, Sanjaya wore 7 ponytails this week, the faux-mohawk look. honestly who does the hair and makeup there, art students who have Bo Ricks training? not only did he have 7 freakin ponys, he also sang one of Gwen Stefani's songs, "Bathwater" - it was real baaad and Gwen seemed to do whatever she could to not let him sing it...but then thank god he did, because Tuesday night would have not been the same:

"Sanjaya Malakar - He wanted to sing "Bathwater". She tried to get him to sing some 80's song. He said he was a big fan and he really wanted to do one of her songs. Gwen was upfront with him and told him she didn't think he could pull it off but gave him the benefit of the doubt. Today after seeing how rehearsals were going, she didnt' see any progress. She went to Nigel immediately and told him she does not want Sanjaya singing one of her songs whatsoever. Sanjaya didn't have many options at that point. He kind of got stuck with "Bathwater". This caused a big scene at the studio and was the talk all afternoon."

[source: thread on I love everything message board]

WANT MORE SANJAYA?
Sanjaya Malakar fan club
Why is Sanjaya still singing on American Idol?
Sanjaya and hair stylist survive another week
American Idol recap of Sanjaya on Tuesday
Sanjaya FANS!

headline of the day + bowel phenom all in one!

2007-03-20T16:24:00.000-05:00

Metamucil's New Motto: Be Beautiful on the Inside

New TV ads for the company's Metamucil fiber supplement starting today carry the tagline "Beautify Your Inside" and resemble spots selling cosmetics. One shows women applying mascara, styling their hair and putting on lipstick. The first glimpse of Metamucil, in new, bright packaging, is its reflection in the mirror of a powder compact. Nowhere do the ads mention "regularity" or "constipation," as the old ones did.
[source: WSJonline]

i decided i will go there and talk about bowels today. it's so in now to discuss how and why we can't "go" and why we think it's because we ate 3 bananas, sat on our heads last night, held it in too long because we can't go at the office, drank too much soy, ate too much cheese, overloaded on fiber and it did the reverse move on you. the list goes on. why are we obsessed with it, why do we long for Gas-X, Metamucil, Zelnorm and any other laxative that has a new ad campaign that promises "smooth moves." And NO, i am not talking about those that use laxatives for a fun new diet! (i do not recommend or endorse).

Metamucil has taken this new (and hip!) "bowel obsession" into account probably through their extensive research and realize that their target is young girls who can't "go," not the fat 70 year man who has been constipated for 5 years or your grandma who only eats prunes, but still has trouble in the b-room department.

now that you've thrown up go to the Poop Report for the #1 site for #2

humongo plane costs a few lohans and hiltons to fill up

2007-03-20T16:13:00.000-05:00

it's really really big. it fits 555 passengers. is it safe? pop a few xanax and some qualuds, and it may be tolerable. i'll wait 5 years until i board that giant airbus. how can such a huge mother of a plane lift off, it's such a heffer of a thing. welcome the titantic of planes... the airbus A-380

those who hate flying, hate this even more!

it's been 14 days...nobody cares!

2007-03-20T11:17:00.000-05:00

i have been busy, since my final for class was due last week, had only MARCH MADNESS on my mind(still do but am on a 2-day break) and there was really no good goss or internet finds...but i am baaaaack.

1st on my list, creepy creepy, Phil Spector(not be confused with any relation to Regina Spektor). if you don't know him, you have definitely seen his hair and this exact shot of him in court.
Accused of killing Lana Clarkson, Phil entered court this week for jury selection for his murder trial...and came in with a Barry Manilow/Ellen do...i can't decide...(random thought - do you think you can go into a hair salon now and request "The Manilow," "The Ellen," or the "Gayken?")
2nd on my list is Tara-I'm-not-as-drunk-all-the-time-as-I-use-to-be-Reid. she's opening up a fast food restaurant! like fat america needs another one, and guess what? it's not named Pink Taco as we all expected, but it's called T&A, I mean Ketchup. [source: Sky Showbiz]

3rd on my list, Justices hear 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' case
(CNN is great with headlines)

4th on my list, Barack bitch-slaps Big Hil with a '84 Apple commercial/her campaign meanderings mash-up. to che Obam, to che.

5th on this thang is some music i discovered while bumming around on Good Weather for Airstrikes, Idolator and Stereogum -- (listed in no fav order below)
-Brett Dennen - folky, great voice, you will fall in love with his lyrics
-Of Montreal - weird, UKers, electro, indie, rock out
-Citizen Cope - rockin out Colorado-style, Ben Harperish, blue moon beer drinking hipster love him (try the old stuff too, his new CD - Every Waking Moment just came out)
-Klaxons - UK, electro, half depeche mode half arcade fire, i likeeeeee
-Plan B - dirty UK eminem, lyrics tell a story, like the streets...but more raw, da da daaaamn
(Obama to Hil) - "yea, Oprah is actually on my side now."

the really really really HAPPY HOUSEWIVES of Orange County

2007-03-06T09:44:00.000-06:00

you totally watch this show, you know you do. i'll admit it, i will watch most reality TV, usually on MTV, VH1 and Bravo...i get completely sucked in like a 50% off of the already 50% off merchandise at Urban, it just happens.

last season, i watched these ladies from apparently the "real O.C." or Coto, a suburb in the O.C., and they weren't as bad as this season. last season, i saw ridiculous shopping sprees, over-protective moms, someone going from poor to rich and back to poor again, a may-december romance falling apart and then back together and just stupid comments all across the board.

this season, it has been a lot of crap. lots and lots of "me me me" going on. some underlying reasons revealed of why they really are on a reality show. no one asks themselves "how did i get myself signed up for this?" they all just love love love every minute of it. oh and guess what, Jo, has always wanted to be a singer! really? no shit! and everyone on I Love New York is an aspiring actor. why has reality TV led so many to believe that they can spring a career off of a show? not one person from reality TV has (unless they were already a celeb beforehand)--but they can enjoy a life of bar promotions and "college tours" and "challenges" (like the Real World/Road Rules and Laguna crew).

the reality celebrity is somewhat of a step even below the D List, a place that not even the alphabet can describe. it's the kind of "celebrity" that gets you noticed on the street, but after that no one really cares. and that kind of "celebrity" does not last that long -- really the term 15 minutes of fame is right, because a new reality show with some other aspiring actor or singer is airing the next day. do these reality "stars" do anything to really entertain us? it's really just the writers, producers and directors prompting them to say things.

so back to what is ailing me today -- i happened to go on Pretty on the Outside.com (which is actually the perfect site for the Real Housewives of Orange County). i saw some pretty accurate illustrations of the Housewives and prompted me to remember this ridiculous episode and just how fricken "HAPPY" they all are!

picture this scene:
the ladies just get out of a RHOC photo shoot and are on top of the world and feeling pretty right, since they're post-botox and/or surgery, they all walk outside and low and behold (trust me, he didn't plan it with the producers or anything so that all of America could see WHAT gift he got her), a new Mercedes black convertible, the one that costs about $100,000 (maybe only 20 in the world), is sitting there with a big red bow on top and it's for poor-to-rich-to-poor-to NEWLY RICH-Lauri! her new fiance' of about 6 months has bought her a new car and all the women are drooling. Vicki is just dying, especially since Lauri quit working for her because she doesn't have to work anymore. Vicki screams "you are so LUCKY!" but really means "I DESERVE THIS CAR, NOT YOU HO!" the moment is priceless and at that moment you can see how unfulfilling their "keeping up" lifestyle really is. then Jo (the 24 year old who is dating/engaged/fucking a 40 year old man) jumps into the car and is like, OMG ("I will totally have this car if I dump Slade and fuck all of Hollywood while trying to get a singing career"). the rest of the ladies are like, "wow" and just proceed to their regular mercedes or luxury SUVs feeling like total trash! Vicki gets into her extended suburban and curses Lauri all the way home (well that wasn't on tape, but you can just imagine).

a friend of a friend wants to 'do him dirty'

2007-02-23T15:07:00.000-06:00

(click to enlarge)
love it!

i just shat my pants

2007-02-22T16:53:00.000-06:00

what went down outside of K Fed's house:

take that Kev! i'm gonna F up your explorer with my umbrella! where the hell are sean p. and jayden? i want to take the kids with me to rehab! KEEEEEVVVVIN! get outta here you damn paparatzo!

i can't just IGNORE baldy

2007-02-21T15:54:00.000-06:00

i mean, it's HUGE right. Brit really knows how to upstage the sudden death of a celebrity, doesn't she? that's right, BUZZ IT. according to OK! magazine:

FedEx and Brit got into a huge fight on Friday, the day she so memorably shaved off all her hair.

"They had a huge argument," says the mag. "Kevin threatened Britney that he was going to have people test her hair to find out exactly what she's been up to. She was so scared. That was what made her have her head shaved."

i'm just trying to figure out if there was ever a way out of this? could she have gone back, before she cheated on JT and he smeared the story all over his song and music video "Cry Me a River?" could she have been high when she first met KFed and thought he was good looking and not the horrible attempt to be the second coming of Vanilla Ice? i don't think that she ever wanted to change really, think about it...she was a trailer trash success story and even though she walked around in flip flops sometimes or usually barefoot (mainly in gas station bathrooms), had one thick accent that emphasized her bad english, the.worst.fashion.sense.ever she still had more money than she probably ever imagined, and adoring fans.

the adoring fans are checking out. her album she was supposedly recording was rejected, KFed was in a super bowl commercial, everyone saw her hoo ha like 10 times even my grandma did (how many people can say that about their hoo ha!)

what about plan B? it could have changed everything...[source: Brankspankin.com]

HELP: there is definitely NOT enough reality TV on TV

2007-02-21T15:15:00.000-06:00

in EXCITING reality TV news:

Oxygen signed a deal with Go-Go Lucky Prods. to produce "Rodeo Girls," which it described as " 'Laguna Beach' at the rodeo," and with Reveille for "Adfight," a reality series delving into the advertising world.

[source: variety.com]

hmm...Adfight, wow is that catchy! scandals! creatives dating account people! new business! "open" dress codes! should be CRAZY.

and Rodeo Girls, "Laguna at the rodeo" huh? what a S T R E T C H. if there are cowboys that talk as slow and simple as Jason and Dieter from Laguna and cowgirls that ONLY shop and talk shit, well and do rodeo, it might work.

to all you woo'ers

2007-02-21T13:57:00.000-06:00

YEA YOU, the one who just woo'ed in spinning class.
the one who just woo'ed (and clapped) at Night at the Museum.
the contestant on Wheel of Fortune who just woo'ed on EVERY spin.
the club-goer/chicago collegey bar-goer who woo'ed during "Livin' On a Prayer," "Pour Some Sugar on Me," "Summer of '69," "Sweet Child O' Mine," "Welcome to the Jungle" "Don't Stop Believin" and "Here I Go Again."

Arsenio Hall would appreciate your "woo's" BUT I would just like to put a bagel in your mouth, duct tape it, and then put a muzzle over that.
_____________________________
dear spinning class woo'er:

class does not get more exciting or any easier when or if you 'woo,' in fact it's harder to concentrate on the "hill" i am trekking up with my stationary bike. i'm trying to envision the finish line at the top of the hill, me beating everyone and all i hear is your 'woo's'! i lose concentration and lose the race because my brain is inundated with cheerleader verbal diarrhea (really peppy screams or just woo's).

so next time the instructor, that i realize you're friends with and might be trying to give her a pat on the back, tells us to "turn it up" don't woo, just turn up the intensity on your damn bike in silence. it's 6:30am in the morning, too early for a woo fest.

-the one in class who kept staring at you after every 'woo'
__________________
dear movie theater guy:

i'm going to make this short and sweet considering it's hard to write a long letter to someone who actually enjoyed "Night at the Museum" enough to actually "woo" and clap at the end, i just can't relate. 2 things--1. it is a movie that has been pre-recorded, not live theatre and 2. although the clap happens frequently at the movie theater, the "woo" is neither necessary nor suitable for NATM.

i can't get back the 2 hours of my life that I spent watching this flick, but at least i can have a true opinion if someone asks me how it was. Absolutely wretched.

-the girl sitting behind you
____________________________

dear wheel of fortune contestant:

i am forced to watched WOF while I am getting my stuff together in the locker room at my gym, and usually my workout ends around the time that WOF is playing. it's not fair, especially when the "teen" version is on. but today, i heard you talking about your family to Sajack and even though he didn't ask you to tell him everything about them, you still did. you also got the first spin and then was on a roll (skillfully just missing the Bankruptcy twice and scoring a trip to Key West) , and then the woo's started flowing like beer in frat house. EVERY SPIN. EVERY DAMN SPIN. i was trying to get out of the locker room faster, but there's just no rushing when you're tired and sweaty after a 9-5 work day.

did you win? did all that "woo'ing" get you anywhere? it ruined my night.
_____________________________

dear post-college guy/girl at a chicago collegey bar:

i've heard this "set" of college replays before. EVERY NIGHT, yes it was the same damn playlist. a little Bon Jovi, a little GNR, a little White Snake, a little Journey and every person is in a drunken sing-along. i have to admit, those songs were GOOD in college, it was like i had just discovered them on Napster and burned them to a blank CD. but no, they have been around for decades and they are the ONLY BAR ANTHEM. keep those on repeat, go ahead, i'm just not singing along anymore...i can't do it after the 1,000th time. it seems like every time you play these "classics"(meaning the innovative DJ at the bar), the crowd just goes wild, like no matter what was going on, they hear the rif for "Pour Some Sugar on Me" and everything seems to be alright, even if they just saw their boyfriend making out with the "beer girl."

it's not your bad DJ skills that hurt the most, it's the woo's that ensue after, during, before each of these songs (there may be more songs that i am missing). it's a woo that starts at the beginning of the song and goes on about 10-20 seconds after the song is over. it's non-stop woo-age and if you play them all in a row (which is what usually happens), it's almost 30 minutes to an hour of straight up woo-anation.

can i DJ next time? McFadden's Chicago- click for their myspace
______________________________

the gang bang just keeps getting bigger

2007-02-14T14:54:00.000-06:00

no disrespect to Anna Nicole, R.I.P. not my style to rip on those who have died, but this paternity suit has gotten way way way out of control. i figured there would be some controversy after her death, but never figured that so many "men" that were in her life would come out of whatever rock they were hiding under to claim that Dannielynne was their child.

so in fact how many men was she "sleeping" with at the time of Dannielynne's conception = 4
we are now at 4. Howard K., Birkhead, Zsa Zsa's random husband, some Prince guy and...

the newest kid in town on the paternity gang bang train is Anna's old body guard, Alexander Denk. who is this beef cake? the always truthful, classy show, eXXtra has the dets - click here. the insider is so f-in pissed right now! but at least they still can pay Howard K thousands (maybe millions) to talk about Anna for hours and hours. sob sob sob, "i am obsessed with her" sob sob sob. (always thought he was creepy on her reality show, how he always followed her around. why would you need your "lawyer" with you 24-7?)

1. Howie K.

2. BirkHEAD

3. Prince Zsa Zsa

4. beefcake

so who was doing her at the date of conception...? did zsa zsa join in on the fun (she's kooky, and you know it)? to prove he's the father, will Howie K release a sex tape? if the child has a large forehead like BirkHEAD, will they then have evidential proof that he is the father?

so many questions...i'm sure the INSIDER, EXXTRA & ET will answer them for me!

rewind your mind after a food/alcohol induced woo-ha-ha

2007-02-05T10:46:00.000-06:00

it was a "woo" fest last night, for about...let's say the 1st quarter. the poor chicagoans who are real bears fans, who grew up in the big Ill, those that got their heart broken last night, i feel for them. REMEMBER THE TIGERS? if i was a betting woman, i would have gone with the colts since my dad & grandfather who are betting men, went with them. it would have been nice to the see the bears win it all.

and here we are...ribs still stuck in the back of our teeth, burping up cupcakes and beer trying to remember what commercials we laughed at last night. i remember a few, but had google video/youtube remind me. refresh yourself, watch them HERE

(Prince knows how to "Do Something Manly")

of all the commercials, of course the K Fed spot sticks out but also the Snicker's "Do Something Manly" commercial got the most laughs out of me.

e*trade went for the "Inside Man" approach, but had a good message "you're not getting much interest on your money if it just sits in the bank, oh and we're assholes too." shocking and a great point of view.

sierra mist had some random spots, most were just slap stick, but the "comb-over" spot gives the Donald a run for his money. And according to Ivanka, Melania does his hair every morning....hmmm, off topic yes, but interesting fact. "it's the beard comb-over, isn't it?"

there were so many damn budweiser spots, that it makes me wonder...how many alcoholics does it take to give bud such a large advertising budget? my favorite bud commercial was the one for bud light titled "class mencia." a lot of un-PC laughing going on with that commercial. do americans just love to make fun of broken english? oh yes we do.

the honorable mentions go to:

Emerald Nuts "Robert Goullet" spot (by the way, this company has great spots, and they're so random, although i have never seen these nuts in the grocery store yet)

Career Builder "Promotions Pit" spot -- "I WANT THE PROMOTION!" work is like braveheart, with printers and staplers as your weapons. game on cube buddy!

Career Builder "Jungles & Darts" spot -- the swinging water coolers are key in this spot.

Sprint's "Connectile Dysfunction" -- Viagra and Cialis no longer have a greater purpose, the INTERNET is way more important PEOPLE!

watch it over & over & over again

2007-02-05T09:58:00.000-06:00

K FED, rollin' VIP

the hungry, heart-attack prone, dawg' eatin' DITKAs sit on my lil pony

2007-02-02T15:08:00.000-06:00

DA BOWL!

DA BEARS!

no proper english required this weekend. chi-town is being it's chi-town usual self - DITKAing all over the place. get some brats, some dawgs, some old style and get your bowl on.

how do you feel right now? i feel like my hair is pretty perfect right now.

2007-02-02T10:45:00.000-06:00

hippies, 70s hair, teens, chowdah. what do they all have in common?

TERRORIST ATTACK!!!

no one is safe anymore. not even the red sox nation. here are the funny things i found on the

world wide web that the government is probably going to find and it will soon become a "file not found"

[Gawker's "Kreepie Kats"]

these dudes are always laughing (or high) -- watch them talk about hair styles in the 70s here

"F-U! I HAVE SOME SCARY EYEBROWS! watch ATHF!"

giddy to tha UP

2007-02-02T10:01:00.000-06:00

now it's been a busy week for me, and since i started school post NYE, i don't have much time to pan around the internet looking for idiocracy and straight up hilarity. but today i have found a reason to write.

horses are so hot right now, period. after i saw people on the news sobbing over Barbaro (some that had never even as much as brushed his mane). i went to the derby last year, i saw that underdog win it all. and then he went and f-ed himself up and now that he's "old" (4 years old) in the racing world, after putting him through surgery after surgery, they killed him.

the beastiality movie that hit up Sundance this month had some buzz about it(TIME mag: "Have You Seen the Horse Sex Movie?"). Harry Potter was instructed to pose half naked next to a horse to promote his West End debut (and the LAST Potter book is in the works, the world is asking WWSDN - what will scholastic do now? up shit's creek i tell you). and now this...(and THIS is actually funny...)

Gawker's travel companion Grid Skipper reports on a new phenom in good 'ol Philly:

NY Blipsters v. Philly Blurban Cowboys

Yet again the 215 trumps the 212. Despite the much ballyhood blipsters, that's black hipsters to you neologism neophytes, Philly takes black people doing weird things in the city to a whole new level. Think of blipsters as the infantry and the men from Fletcher Street as the cavalry. According to a new book out from Powerhouse,

Deep in the heart of Philadelphia, past row houses and vacant lots, run-down playgrounds and dilapidated schools, is a little place called Fletcher Street. It has everything one would expect to find down an alley in the ghetto, with one addition: horses. The men and boys of Fletcher Street have used their passion for riding and bonds with their rides to build their and their community's sense of worth. They describe their passion for horses as having kept them from the temptations of street life. Fletcher Street by Martha Camarillo documents the lives of these men and the boys they mentor, who board their horses in abandoned houses or makeshift stables, and ride them through the streets of Philly.Didn't Mario Van Peebles make this movie already and didn't it star Stephen Baldwin as a character named "Little J" Teeters?

Fletcher Street [via Philebrity] Blipsters in the NYT

the word of the day is...

2007-01-25T14:08:00.000-06:00

the Gore Effect (from urban dictionary)

The phenomenon that leads to unseasonably cold temperatures, driving rain, hail, or snow whenever Al Gore visits an area to discuss global warming. Hence, the Gore Effect.

- Australia, November 2006: Al Gore is visiting two weeks before summer begins. The Gore Effect strikes: "Ski resort operators gazed at the snow in amazement. Parents took children out of school and headed for the mountains. Cricketers scurried amid bullets of hail as Melburnians traded lunchtime tales of the incredible cold." (The Age)

- New York, March 2004: "Gore chose January 15, 2004, one of the coldest days in New York City's history, to rail against the Bush administration and global warming skeptics... Global warming, Gore told a startled audience, is causing record cold temperatures." (NY Environment News)

___________

brrrr, it's cold in here, there must be some al gore haters in the atmosphere!

he called the shit, 'poop!'

2007-01-25T12:41:00.000-06:00

woweeee wow, that is one poopy jumper.

mmm, ta-ta-ta-tasty TASTY

2007-01-25T12:25:00.000-06:00

boy can i get me some of that? squishy and greasy. TMZ coined some weird ass lingo and it goes a lil somethin' like this...
It's not easy being "Gummi Bear", Blubbery Jason Davis, abominably blonded brother of TMZ's favorite over-entitled Hollywood clubgoer, Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis.

and then gallery of the absurd got inspired and here you have it.

"gummi bears! bouncin' here and there and everywhere!" (remember that show?)

[source: TMZ & gallery of the absurd]

too many exclamation points are making me crazy, man

2007-01-25T12:05:00.000-06:00

last night, had a girls dinner. went to cesar's on north b'way (say: SAY-ZARS) "home of the killer margarita." yes, it was killer, man. one marg is all you need and you'll be flashing your na-na to everyone.

i realize that i have been using too too many exclamation points in my posts and titles and i have to stop. i might go to rehab for punctuation just like isiah washington is in rehab for his "behavorial issues" and lohan is in (or they said "out-patient") rehab for underage binge drinking. hey we all did that not too long ago?

ok, see you guys in a few hours...i'm going to rebab!

everyone in hollywood is GAY!

2007-01-25T11:55:00.000-06:00

i've known it all along and Pretty on the Outside knows exactly what i'm talking about...this whole "entertain and become besties with the becks family" was all just a ploy to get mr. becks to move to LA so Cruisazy could watch him kick around balls all day and stare at his hotness. so what's to come of posh & katie? i think scientology has plans for them...

[credit: Pretty on the Outside.com]

BEYONCE is pissed!

2007-01-23T10:38:00.000-06:00

(beyonce is in the CENTER again!)

oh no, bootylicious-i-am-in-the-center-of-every-stage-formation-beeeeey-on-cey! did not got a nomination for best supporting actress. who didn't see that one coming, she can't act! remember "The Fighting Temptations" on VH1, it was classic. What about "Austin Powers: Goldmember," she was like a robot reciting lines "I'm Foooxy Cleopatra!" Dreamgirls was no exception to this rule. yes, she can sing, no her and her mom cannot design tasteful clothing, but yes she can sing.
(by the way, her song "Listen" did get nominated, see below)

And the nominees are....

Best motion picture of the year
Babel
The Departed
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen

Achievement in directing
Babel, Alejandro González Iñárritu
The Departed, Martin Scorsese
Letters from Iwo Jima, Clint Eastwood
The Queen, Stephen Frears
United 93, Paul Greengrass

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson
Peter O’Toole, Venus
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Penélope Cruz, Volver
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren, The Queen
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet, Little Children

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children
Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Adriana Barraza, Babel
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

Original screenplay
Guillermo Arriaga, Babel
Iris Yamashita, Paul Haggis, Letters from Iwo Jima
Michael Arndt, Little Miss Sunshine
Guillermo del Toro, Pan's Labyrinth
Peter Morgan, The Queen

Adapted screenplay
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Children of Men
The Departed
Little Children
Notes on a Scandal

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"I Need to Wake Up," An Inconvenient Truth
"Listen," Dreamgirls
"Love You I Do," Dreamgirls
"Our Town," Cars
"Patience," Dreamgirls

[source: CCN.com]

my votes are for: best picture- little miss sunshine. best supporting actress- rinko kikuchi in babel. best actress - meryl streep in the devil wears prada.

what is your take on the nominations? sorry but i thought Babel sucked!! Rinko Kikuchi was the reason the movie carried, Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett were horrible.

is she 'seventeen' or just writes like one...?

2007-01-19T11:59:00.000-06:00

ugh, the 'TOOS, Atoosa Rubenstein. could IT get more annoying...? her myspace blog is just full of 'likes' and 'stuff'...like OOOOOMMMMMMGGGGG!

I remember when I realized that my truth was that I wanted to serve you. I've talked about it before but in case you don't remember, it was a moment of clarity I had when I was in Milan during fashion week (I was 25), talking to the designer of Gucci (Tom Ford at the time) on the runway after the show. I had a complete out of body experience. I remember thinking - What are you doing in Milan, ITALY?? What are you doing actually talking TOM FORD (He's someone I had always admired in magazines and stuff) and wait...are you wearing head to toe VERSACE??? (This was the same girl who would wear her coats and bathing suits until they literally fell apart - just a few years before). There was a part of me that was just not comfortable with this wonderful life. I just didn't feel like I deserved it. Or better yet, I didn't feel comfortable accepting this life from God - sort of like when someone gives you a gift that's way too expensive and you feel awkward. I wanted to do something more meaningful to deserve this beautiful and fun life. It was at that moment that I realized my truth: I needed to do something more "important." Don't get me wrong. It's not that fashion is not a wonderful career - it was AMAZING. But I felt humbled by the gifts it had given me - and I wanted to give back. I knew that was the only way I could enjoy the fruits of my labor. That's when I decided to have a deeper conversation with YOU to help you create a roadmap for getting to a place where you're also super happy and living the great life. So basically, I knew I had to get out of the fashion department and learn more about the big picture.
And now I get to my point. Sorry - I talk too much, I know.
continue reading »

sounds like 'The Devil Wears Prada' to me. wow, did they like make that movie based on her life and stuff?
[source: the TOOS' myspace & Gawker.com]